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#412279 - 03/24/11 02:52 AM how to handle your mans best friend is a girl?
lrdrlover13 Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/24/11
Posts: 5
How should i handle this? It is hard for me because my fiancées best friend is a girl.I get jealous when she texts him or talks to him on facebook messaging. I get jealous when he goes over there to hang out and i get worried.How do i handle this without being the jealous or controlling girlfriend? I know she was around before me

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#412391 - 03/24/11 10:46 PM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello lrdrlover13 smile

'I don't know' is the only answer that I can give, because this would make me feel very uncomfortable, too.

And the girl in question may well feel awkward and that she could lose her friend.

Inter-gender friendships can be great, but, sadly, they can cause problems.

Just try to be relaxed about it.
Maybe all of you could spend some time together?

You could ask your boyfriend how he might feel, if your best friend was a boy ~ and what he thinks might be the best way to go forward with this situation.

Good luck smile


Edited by PDM (03/24/11 10:47 PM)
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#412392 - 03/24/11 10:51 PM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I saw this on your other thread:

'His best friend is a girl and i found out he has been saying mean things about me to her, and now she thinks im a [censored]'
http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/412320

This makes things more complicated.

People talk about their problems to their friends, so it is understandable that he might confide in her, but it still makes the situation difficult.
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#412395 - 03/25/11 05:49 AM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
lrdrlover13 Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/24/11
Posts: 5
of course i dont even know what to do anymore

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#412495 - 03/26/11 07:53 AM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
lostnlookin2 Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/26/11
Posts: 1
I don't know what to tell you. i have a problem that is causing me a huge headache you see i am friends with (or was friends with ) a guy who was /is having problems with the gf and well things went a little too far now i am in a spot i have ended everything even our friendship. but i still feel very bad for the gf. and do not judge me this is the 1st time anything like this has ever happen.
i just wanted to comment and tell you not all men cheat with female friends i have lots of male friends and this the only one that anything has even happen with.

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#412496 - 03/26/11 08:04 AM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
You may be interested in this thread, started by Jilly (one of the moderators):

Originally Posted By: jilly
One of my last close friends, who is a guy, will probably be getting married soon. How do i try to remain a part of his life without getting his wife irked? We like to go hiking, backpacking and paddling together and I would be broken hearted to lose that large part of our friendship.

Originally Posted By: jilly
... I am starting to have a bad feeling about this. It really isn't fair. I have been doing these things with my friend for a decade now. His girlfriend has only been in the picture 6 months.


http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/406884
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#418179 - 09/19/11 12:10 AM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
LOL, PDM, good call on bringing that up. There are certainly two sides to this kind of thing.

I think the best answer is to work on one's jealousy issues within themselves if they have a man with a lady best friend. I don't think men find jealousy attractive.

In many cases the man feels like their girl is becoming controlling and they start to want out. So it becomes like a self fulfilling prophecy. frown
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Jilly


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#418188 - 09/19/11 06:17 AM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
tessboss Offline
Long Time Friend

Registered: 02/22/11
Posts: 612
I do not think it can be solved unless the man steps up to the plate. He has to explain to his now wife that he has this friendship that existed long before her. He must include her in the relationship and many times that puts the wife at ease.

My hubby has a dear friend and they do some stuff together now and then but they always ask me to join in. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

I was smart enough to figure out that if he wanted to be with her he would have done so many years ago before he met me.

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#420687 - 12/04/11 10:55 PM Re: how to handle your mans best friend is a girl? [Re: lrdrlover13]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
Tessboss, I like how you think. That sounds very doable. smile
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