This does not sound very healthy and, if you want to make it work, I really think that you will need to have relationship counselling. Then you will get an outside, unbiased view on your relationship ~ and some help with resolving issues.
Think over whether you are actually happy with this situation.
Do you love him?
Does he love you?
Has he always been like this?
Could it be that he stops your sister coming unexpectedly because he is tired after work, rather than because he is controlling?