RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Getting intamate and i'm confused...

So i have a gf and she is really amazing. I think i have fallen in love with her. She is starting to want me to touch her chest and below the waist and her butt. She now told me that she was wanting to have sex. I want to have sex with her because she is so special to me and it feels like it will never end with her. At the same time i am scared that things will change but now that i am thinking what could change i cant think of any. I am kinda scared to have sex and so is she but we both want to do it so badly. I am really confused as of what i am to do. Please offer me some advice.

Thanks a bunch,
Jeremy

Hey buddy wats up. welcome to the site for starters, and we will try to give you the best advice possible.

1. She wants you touching her on her "soft spots".
2. You say you really love her. Which is cool man, it's great when you find your one and only.
3.Sex....I don't wanna get religious on you, but from my point of view as a christian, sex should be saved for marriage.
4. Scared, give me one person who wasn't.

Some things are still a tad unclear to me though. Besides the fact yall are in a bf/gf relationship. If you don't mind me askin, How long have yall been together like this. Also how old are yall?

Why ask that? 1. If your still in school, don't even think about having sex, it'll just ruin you. I had friends in High school who's juggling a kid, a job, and school. now don't get me wrong, it's normal for people to think about it, it;s everyone's head from time to time.

Second of all, and here come's the christian thing again, you should really wait till after marriage, when you know can support a kid.

I love kids, I'm a worker in children's church at my church, and they are all crazy, which makes me think about sex less, and what god whats me to do with my life. If marriage hops along that road, great. A kid rolls in, great.

You see where I'm going with this. I'm just a simple country boy, that works on computers and has a great love for his church, his friends and the kids he has to take care of, even though they drive you nuts.

OK, I might sound weird right now...

In my opinion, if you are at school, don't get into it, or at least try not to. My ex and I almost had full-on sex on many occassions and when my cycle came late, we both freaked out to a point of me having panic attacks. DON'T have sex. Bad idea. Enough said. Light touches are ok, but only if you two are confortable with it. If not, lay off.

Hello Jeremy.

This isn't the first time that you have been in love and you haven't been with this girl for very long ~ and you are both very young. Are you even legally able to do this yet?

I wouldn't recommend it. I really wouldn't. I, personally, think that you are too young and that you already coping with too many complications.

Relationships, as you know, are emotional matters. Sex can make it more so ~ and more complicated. Things can get very emotional & involved and if anything goes wrong with the relationship, then it will be a bigger emotional blow.

Teenagers have sexual urges built in.
Loving teenagers, who may have missed out on affection, naturally enjoy kissing & cuddling in particular, & often feel particularly attracted by sexual activity.

Try to think logically about this & don't let your hormones ~ or you desire for affection ~ rule your head.

What if your parents found out?
What if her parents found out?
What if she became pregnant?
What if you if you were labelled as a 'bad boy' because of it?
Or if she were labelled a 'bad girl'?
Could you cope?

And, if she is under 16, you could get into legal trouble.

Think about those previous girls you loved.
How would you feel now, do you think, if you had had a full sexual relationship with them?
How would it affect you?

And try not to do things when you feel confused.

You are right; things can change.
Think of when you didn't expect things to change, before, but when they did. Things are always changing ~ especially when you are a teenager.

Anything new & different can be scary.

There are some people for whom sex is a passing pleasure ~ like dancing or a nice meal. They enjoy it that way and it is irrelevant to them whether this is true love or a one-night-stand.

For others, sex is special & private and only for that special for-ever soul-mate, whom they love.

I cannot tell you which of those you are ~ but I get the impression that it might be the second one.

For now, I think that you should wait ~ at least until you know each other better, are certain that you are in love, are old enough to know that this certainty will last, and that you will not get into trouble for doing anything illegal.

One more thing ~ don't take risks with pregnancy or STDs. If you do go through with this, use a condom.

Take care!

I think you've gotten good advice in the previous posts. All I can add is that you shouldn't be pressured into sex by anyone. This is common advice told to young women but I think it applies to young men, too.

If you're not 100% sure it's the right thing to do, then don't do it, and that way you can avoid all kinds of regrets later.

I talked to my girlfriend and we had a long conversation. We decided that we both are not ready to have sex. I am still going to go to the nurse at school to get a condom. I would rather be safe than sorry. She still wants me to touch her breasts and in between her legs. She says that she might not be able to help herself but i told her that if things start to go to far that i would stop her and she would do the same thing if i started to go to far. I really feel like i can trust her with my life and my heart. I know that i haven't been with her for very long but my feelings are so strong for her i just can't explain it. I hug her and i don't want to let go. I just want time to stop so i can just stand there and hold her in my arms. I really think i am in love with her.

Jeremy

But Jeremy, didn't you think the same about the other girls, at the time?

Maybe it was true love then and maybe it is now, but I think that you were right to slow this down a bit.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

I think this article says a lot about reasons for waiting to get intimate. I agree with PDM and the others, sex should wait. I can speak from personal experience...I got pregnant when I was 16 and had my baby. I ended up in a horrible abusive realtionship with the baby's father. We are now divorced, and I have a boyfriend who loves and respects me, but it was a very hard time for me. Things are still harder because of my decision to have my daughter...I have to work full time and go to school (college) at night, I have to be "responsable" ALL tHE TIME. I can't just decide I want to go out and party or even just see a movie. I do no regret my decision and would never change it, but it has made life very hard for me in some ways.

Good luck, and I think it is very responsable of you to put so much thought into this.

I really want my first time to be special for me and her. I am getting so much pressure from people saying yes do it and so many people saying no you need to wait. I am getting so confused as to what i should do. How will i know when i am ready for this?

Don't let anyone pressure you into sex. It is a personal & private matter and no-one's business but your own.

Well, until you reach the age of consent, it is also your parents' business ~ and it could become a police matter, if she is under the age of consent. How do you feel about that?

I do think that it is wise to listen to other people's advice & experiences, so that you and she can make up your own minds based on serious mature thought.

Think carefully.

Don't be pressured ~ not even by her.

How come other people are involved in discussing your sex life anyway?

It should be private. Don't get into the 'kiss and tell' thing. That's just unpleasant.

And there are things to consider like how your parents would react if they knew that you were sexually active.

Also, I just wonder how you think you would feel if this relationship became sexual but turned out to be temporary ~ and you later found the true girl of your dreams & life partner. Would that concern you, do you think?