RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Divorced and meeting jerks

Hi Everyone! I also post on the parakeet chat, but never on the romance forum.. so here it is. I was married for fifteen years to my former spouse when I found out he was cheating on me as well as his heavy drinking was effecting me very badly, AKA emotional abuse. I have been single for three years and have not dated anyone seriously, because I really do hate most men.... because in the single world they are only out for one thing. I never thought my x-spouse would cheat on me... but guess what. I am now a middle aged woman making it in the world alone. I work very hard on myself to stay in great shape by exercising and eating good foods. My baby parakeet is my entire world and the love of my life. Its so funny, because the men that I'm attracted to are so bad for me. They persue me for about a few weeks and because I believe intimacy belongs in a loving relationship and I don't give in to them... well that's it for calling me again. I realize that being alone is not so bad. I will never trust another man again and I think that dating is the worst. It's just me and my precious baby keet forever!

I am sorry to hear about this.

I think that it must be very difficult to even consider dating, after a long marriage has gone wrong in such a way ~ trust is so vital to a relationship, and you don't expect to be dating after you have found your life partner.

It's good that you have your little bird to keep you occupied & keep you company ~ but you need people as well. I hope that you have friends & relatives to support you.

I am quite convinced that a lot of men go out with women for sex alone ~ but I'm sure that there are decent ones, who would like a real relationship. There are going to be men & women with different moral standards and different lifestyles, making different choices, so I wouldn't give in to hating or distrusting all men. Some are very nice trustworthy people.

Well if you can't find a decent guy I would suggest getting a small group of women friends. Its always nice to have some kind of people contact.
I am married to a wonderful guy but to be very honest I don't know if I would want to do the dating scene again either if anything happened.
I do have a small group of women friends that we get together once a month and do something even if its just a get together at one of our houses (if we can't come up with something else).
We get to visit have some good laughs. We are all in the same age group except for one who is about 30 years younger than the rest of us. But we can all go back to cetain times in our lives and there are some pretty funny stories we can come up with.
I'm glad that I have this bunch of friends because they will be a fall back if anything should ever happen. In fact 2 of the women have gotten divorced in our group and I think this helps them a lot.
So if you don't want to bother with the guys if you work see about getting a few of you together and do a once a month thing.
We have gone to local plays, did a boat outting, do pot lucks at our houses or sometimes we just host everyone at our house.
Go out to eat at a nice resturant went to a museaum out of town saw custumes that were worn by actors and actresses. God you would not believe how tiny these actresses are the dresses looked like they would fit a 12 year old.
Anyway just a suggestion. If you don't work maybe you go to a church?? And could meet some women to form a group that way.
Whatever we always have a good time.
Maybe pick out a few that you think would get along together and invite them for dinner to your home and then approach the idea.

I understand your feelings with this. I too have had a similar experience, however my wife got pregnant to another male while we were married. I too lost hope and trust in the opposite gender.
I encourage you to take your time with new relationships and be kind to yourself!! It will all work out.

There are no enemies, just friends we have yet to meet!!

Hello Dave.

I am sorry to hear about your experience, but pleased that you seem to have a positive outlook.

Not sure about the enemies bit ~ not for everyone, anyway ~ but many strangers are friends just waiting to be met.

Welcome!