I thought maybe the men on the forum could help me (women too).

I have been single for too long, and I feel that now it is permanent. My father the soft-spoken ahem..European manhe is already told me I have no husband it is too late and I should not have children so what the role for women like me is to take care of him and my mom in their old age as I have missed a one time boat.
That was a loose translation but hopefully you get the point.

I will be completely honest I am 5ft nothing, 109lbs am 30 ouch 33 years ergo No supermodel, and annoying to me but fascinating to others evidently the average guess of my age is 22 on sight sometime low as 18 and up to 27..so it would appear i don't look my age. Wow thats alot of private info, but I feel like giving a little info may help. I have a career 9-5. ! budgie , no cats ..yet. I finished University and college and took some classes like Spanish and Excel just for fun. I am RC (roman catholic) I try. I am honest, loyal, I would never cheat. I eat like a bird and never have more than to beers so it's not like I am superhigh maintance.

So why won't a man give me the time of day. Okay so that may be imppossible to answer even my married friends are like "why r u single still?" so i ask them and one couple said they actually discussed me one day and came up with nada.

Any thoughts on my pathetic plight.

too old?
Sorry to break it to you but 33 is not old.
I say just to not mope around about being single.
Get out, enjoy life have fun and if something happends then hey!
but don't harp on it.
It'll only make you feel worse.

Thanks for saying 33 is not old.

LOL, I don't mope, or harp usu. but the forum is here to ask questions or talk about stuff so I thought I would toss it out there to see if anyone had any ideas on the subject.

I do enjoy life. We just have a short time here so we should make the most of it.

maybe give some of the online matchmakers a try! Two of my coworkers just married someone they met at E Harmony.com. i know with all the weirdos out there it can be intimidating to try something like that. The way i see it if you meet in a very busy public place in the middle of the day and don't go anywhere private with them the first few meetings, you should be just fine. I got lucky, i'm still with my high school sweet heart and i can't imagine ever being without him. Some one is out there for everyone, and 33 is most def. not too old to find them. My Uncle didn't marry until 35.

Definitely not too old!
And what's better is that you will probably "know" more quickly when you find the right guy. Although there are occasional stories of people marrying their high school sweetheart - it is much more common I think to struggle in your twenties with whomever you are dating - because both individuals are still in the process of figuring out who they are and where they want to go. By the time you are 30, alot of issues such as where you work and where you want to live, and what religion works for you - all have been settled - so you don't have to worry about growing apart which frequently occurs in the twenty-somehtings.
So in some ways, you have already cut through alot of the BS and can find somebody compatible from the get go.

Do you have any hobbies - skiing or hiking or do you like to read - if so join a ski club or book club, etc - All great ways to meet people while doing what you like. Incidentally sometimes you meet people - and they introduce you to others - and you get involved in whole new social circles. Sometimes just expanding your "crowd" can help alot and open new doors.

And even though I am not religious, since you mentioned it - are you active at your church? There must be many functions where you could meet others who already share your religion.

I think the hardest thing to do is to make a change in your routine - get out of whatever rut is preventing you from meeting new people. Do something different, take an art class, etc, etc. Be open minded yourself - do not rule out any guy just by his looks but give him a chance, just as you would want for yourself. If you want to find somebody then I think you will - but it may take a little initiative. Be adventurous - but stay true to your own instincts and don't settle for somebody you are not truly happy with - but just broaden your horizons a bit.

Incidentally - having a child - a whole other ball of wax. (and possibly a whole different thread here on the forum) ... but don't feel compelled to get a partner for the sole purpose of having a child. Luckily in this day and age if you really want a child, then you can do so on your own, and I have met many single moms who do just great (but it is alot of work!). If you find somebody who wants children too, that is great - but try to keep the two issues separate, if possible.

33 is not old.
It's young.

You may seem to be too 'sorted' in your life. Men might find that a bit frightening.

I agree with Victor. Get involved with clubs etc and just meet people. It's not too late. I know from the experience of friends. Many didn't meet their partners 'til they were in their 30s.

Wow, so many things to think about, PDM what do you mean by too sorted?

I incidently never judge by looks. I have dated a suit guy, a guy with a Mohawk and tattoos, an overweight guy , as long as they are nice you don't even "see" how they look anyway. Like a very attrative person could open there mouth an become very ugly after a few words. If you know what I mean.

I do find I get asked out alot by younger men sometimes even 20 or so...it is very frustrating. I suppose at least now I know what matters to me. But maybe I am too set in my ways now? Ahhhhhh.

Dating is awful.

Everyone hug your spouse tonight and be very thankful to be outta the wild weirdo single world.

33 is NOT old at all!!!

May I ask why you find being asked out by younger men frustrating? Maybe this feeling of being frustrated by these "younger men", is holding you back? After all there are some people out there who are quite mature for their age!

It seriously surprises me to hear you have not been snapped up by someone! You are soo funny and interesting! I love reading your posts! You are funny and have a SUPER cute personality!!! I don't know what you look like but I am sure you are cute too! There is someone somewhere for everyone! I really belive that! So don't give up (you are still super young!) and maybe give some of those "young guys" that ask you out a chance!!

I am 33 yrs old and married to what a mule and a donkey make! (lol) We have been married for almost 12 yrs and have 3 kids. I want to get a divorce but cant afford it. when I hear of people struggleing and dating. I think they are lucky for not having my husband. Things could be worse... Its easier to be single then you dont have to answer to anyone. I wouldnt change having my kids for anything! But I would change being married....

Hi villageidiot33

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't too good in your marriage. Glad that you are enjoying your children, though.
Have you thought about relationship counselling?
It might be worth a go.

I think that some men are intimidated by confident women who don't seem to need a man in order to have a successful life.

Guys do you agree with PDM are you intimidated, I think of guys as tough, only after you know what, and not afraid of anything, NOT ALL GUYS just to be clear.

But do you ever notice,a woman sees a handsome guy and thinks ..so out of my league..but the ugliest guy would ask out a supermodel what is with that? I see it all the time.

Honest answer is yes - I think many men would never marry a woman if they thought the woman was smarter than they were. It's sort of like women who would never date a man shorter than she is. Same superficial hangup.

As for the supermodel dating the dork - I'll bet its a rich dork. Have you heard of the speed dating service that only allows beautiful women and rich men? Same concept. Apparently when people are really superficial, men are attracted to looks and women are attracted to money. It's a nice commentary on today's society.

Now the good news. YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY A GUY WHO IS AFRAID OF A WOMAN'S INTELLIGENCE! So while it's true you will rule out a sizeable segment of the male population, you'll be left with the cream of the crop, IMHO. There are men who would ONLY marry a woman who they felt was their intellectual equal (or superior). And there are men who find intelligence and originality not only attractive but a necessity in a relationship. But don't go looking for men in places where you are likely to find the men who are intimidated or turned off by intelligence - i.e. bars and superficial dating scenes. That's why I suggest doing something you like, because chances are high you will meet others (men AND women) who will be interested in you because of who you are and what you are into. Broadening your social circle is a good thing. I just wonder if maybe you have been looking in the wrong places and been disappointed because of that.

Definitley the wrong places but I just don't know where to go anymore.

BTW the following are not stereotypes this is true experiences from the last year.
I like art so I met a man at the gallery who started talking to me, he was gay.
I thought I'd brave it alone at a coffee shop (it had books plan B) one guy chatted me up about how he has all these swords, cos he is a witch (or Wiccan) and showed me his symbolic tattoos. (I still see him often around town nice enough person but not for me).
I took Spanish at the college for interest after I went to the Dominican, so did a whole lot of single girls and retired couples.
I love live music so I went to check out some of the local talent...evidently drummers are like moth to a flame but I can't date a musician..on the road.

Sigh, ok so how broad of a circle do i need. I am doing this all wrong. I am starting to laugh a little now when i read my own posts, IMO I am being honest, yet it's a little pathetic but kinda like I have no luck either. Sigh I'm sure something will happen eventually, prob. when it's not on my mind, that's always when someone pops up outta nowhere.

That's it!

Absolutely!

you will find the right person when you least expect it, its always the way

never go looking just let it happen

I know all this rationally but emotionally I feel like a teen being peer pressured at my age there is still a pressure on women. And ergo Life is not fair. I get it. Thanks for the advice. I will try not to whine.
Really I have lots of thing to accomplish that I don't need a man for , so I will just get on with those.

Peer Pressure is supposed to be reserved for teens only grr. Tell me it stops in my 40's.

It doesnt stop in your 40's, becouse someone always is in the mood to set the bar higher, and make you feel like a less than. But, if you allow yourself to feel like a less than becouse of your own personal issues then it works...however, if you dont allow it than it really doesnt have an effect on you~ What are you willing to allow?

Are you willing to accept what your father said? That its your responsiblilty to care for them as they age becouse your not married with children? I personally dont think this is your responsibility....and any parent wouldnt speak this to their child if they wanted pure happyness for them.

If you truly want to meet a mate, someone to spend your life with, you have to stop waiting for it just to happen...MOHO~
You need to look at how your placing yourself, and how your going to improve your current situation.

Steps you can take....and I know this takes some balls.
Get yourself calling cards, the old fashioned type with you name, Email and Number that you feel comfortable giving out, pass them to friends for blind dates and always have a few on you~ When you meet a guy in the coffee line, or perhaps at the market....make simple small talk and hand them a card and suggest a coffee if they are interested. The balls on their plate then, and if they are interested they will call you.

Men that are comfortable with themselves like women who challange them, and its nothing to be ashamed of...being smart. Nor is there anything wrong with being average looking, Im average....Heck 90 % of us are just normal looking without the airbrushing and sillyness that goes along with super models...there is nothing wrong with it. Unfortunatly, Many of us Women buy into the fact that we have to spend zillions on clothes, shoes and makeup to be desirable. This couldnt be further than the truth, I feel just as sexy in sweats and flip flops as I do in my very best little black dress that makes heads turn. Its really all about how you carry yourself and not trying to hard.

My heart goes out to you, feeling like there is a time line you must follow to please your parents, The only timeline is the one you set for yourself. I hope you find that wonderful man that makes your days feel warm and safe...and Im pleased to see that you just dont settle for anything becouse its something....thats no good and so many do. Hold out for what in your heart feels right, and it will all fall into place.

( Thinking of you, and sending a special prayer that you find that one soon)

33??? My aunt just got married, and she is 38. 33 would be considered about average.

There's most likely nothing wrong with you that's making you stay single. Who knows what tomorrow or next year has in store.. maybe one day you'll be looking back thinking it just took a little longer to find someone to be with and it was well worth it.

Oh.. and statistics show people who get married under the age of 25 usually get divorced.. so now you've got that on your side.. always look for the bright side

Usually???
Wow!!!

My parents married under 25, after a whirlwind romance, and stayed married until my father died, nearly 50 years later.

My husband and I were under 25 when we married. We met in late 1974 and have been together since January 1975.

So it's not all doom and gloom for those who marry young.

However, there is that old adage ~ marry in haste; repent at leisure.

Young love seems to be so wonderful that not everyone really considers the seriousness of marriage before entering into it.

I know I was in shock when I heard that. Basically everyone in my family married young. My aunt married my uncle when she was SIXTEEN. They're in their late 40's not, still going great! Statistics also show that couples who live together first are more likely to get divorced. I don't get that at ALL.. I mean they know more of what they're getting into when they get into it that way, seems to me they would be more likely not to get divorced.

You married a year after you met? Aww.. how long were you engaged?

Not quite!

We met at college in late 1974; started going out together in January 1975; got engaged in 1979 (unofficially in Lanzarote that Summer; officially in September, on my 23rd birthday) and got married in June 1980.

I've heard that too, but I wonder .. you know how some couples have babies, in the hope that it will make an iffy marriage better? Perhaps some co-habitors get married for similar reasons??

My parents got married when they were both 30, so 33 is only 3 years after. And besides, with your personality, Coco's Mama, you'll find someone who will want to marry you.

wow--the title of this topic sounds like me exactly. i guess i'm only 19 so i still have time...right?? :P but my mom and dad had already met by now--they met in the first few weeks of college, and here i had a boyfriend, but he was a puff (that's me avoiding swearing jaja). AND he was my first boyfriend! i have such great luck. yep, i'm dying alone. i should change my display name to catlady now, just so that that's all nice and established.

Great point! Very possible.

ok, i know that Coco's mama posted this over a month ago but when i read this today I couldn't help feel like this was my situation a year ago. i actually came to the conclusion several years before that its ok that maybe i will never get married & maybe never have kids. so about 2 years went by where i concentrated on myself not waiting around for the dream man to make life better. I got my Master's degree, got a career, and when i was completely happy with myself the man of my dreams came into my life...and 10 months later we were married...and I'm 30! i always met men who were either married, gay, slept around, or completely had no respect for women. my friend had suggested a personals website for fun to see the dating scene in the area & look at my competition so what was just harmless internet flirting (I really never intended to meet anyone) turned into me finding the perfect, mature, sensitive man who had the same goals in life as me (& who i was terribly attracted too i feel like it may of been a fluke i found someone so fast (I was on the personals page for one week) but we are very happily married now and i finally understand the meaning of "when you know... you know if he is right for you". (ga! that used to bug me!)
plus my aunt is 55 and she finally met her match and is really very happy.
hang in there...when you do find the right person all of the time waiting would be worth it...trust me...i got engaged before "just because" & am so happy i called it off.

A very positive post nacho's mama!

Thanks PDM, we actually got married a couple of weeks ago (05/06/07)!
when i was young i used to say "if i'm not married by the time i'm 28 i'll be really depressed"....hence the previous wrong engagement to Mr Will-Work-For-Right-Now. Soooooo glad i didn't go down that path with him...he was verrrry conceited and we fought a lot. I'm really glad to be in my thirties now...i finally am confortable with myself and know what direction i want to take in life and i think this is what was a big attractor for both me & my husband.

I know a number of people, who thought that their chances for love had passed them by ~ only to find out that their perfect partner was just around the corner!

I've heard that too PDM.

Lady I work with was torn apart when her husband left her after cheating more than once. (As the scenario goes, she was the last to find out thanks to his lies) She was absolutely devastated thinking too that because of her age she'd never meet the right person again. She thought herself too old for love.

Now she has met someone who treats her with the respect and love she needed and deserved and she's a new person.

So don't put age on finding true love, it's out there just waiting to be found.

Wow so much more positive news. Congrats, Nacho's Human lol.

I read the entire post again and was like I must have been PMS ing so bad cos' I sound so pathetic, really it is not so bad. I must have just been in " that poor pity me mood" , I am sure I cant be the only person who has those once in a while..right..right? LOL.

I don't hate being single, but my friend just had her second baby 2 more are trying and another got married and then it dawned on me, I felt all of a sudden 16 not 33. Everyone was moving on starting families and it like I was left behind. Now all eyes are on me kinda with expectation like ok girl you are next..harder still is when you remember some of the people who are having kids when they WERE IN DIAPERS eek.

I have a career, I went to university late and finished, then I vacillated for 6 years and got a diploma from college as well and have taken several night courses it isn't like I am sitting with Coco waiting for a white horse to appear in my living room. Ha ha.

I don't think I could a: date someone just to be dating or b: get engaged just cos' I feel that at my age this is it. I would rather be alone than with the wrong person. It's just harder somedays I suppose.

Lora you are 19 you have your whole life in front of you, don't worry about it. Accomplish everything you want for you there is nothing wrong with that, then we Mr. Right comes along you can offer him the best you ..you can be. I am always working on myself (no not plastic surgery although hmmm... no that won't fix anything important lol) but just the me I want to be.

I love all the stories on how people thought it wouldn't happen for them and it did. it is so positive and uplifting. The fact that so many of you had similar feelings to me gives me hope, I am not alone.

Oh and Nacho's H= you'll know when he is right for you LMLBO GAAAAAAH is right.

>sniff sniff< ok fine, i guess i'm still young. but coco's mama! 33????? you're young too! you still have your life ahead of you. don't worry--we'll invite each other to each other's weddings! :P

HAHA deal!
I alway wanted to see New York, Apparently everyone hearts NY.

dont worry i have been single for a year and a half and no lad will look at me and dont no why

I think a lot depends on one's age.

A young junior at work is thinking life is passing her by as she doesn't have a partner - she's only 17. As we tell her, enjoy your life while you're still young, you have your entire life ahead of you.

I agree with you Aerial, but at 17, without a boyfriend when all her friends are dating, she probably feels that there must be something wrong with her. It's understandable, even if it isn't sensible in the long term.

I've heard it said that 30 is the new 20.

But I understand the feeling. My two cousins are married, one married at 18, the other 20-something. My best girl friend married at 19 and has a little one. And maybe I'm relatively young, but it sure feels like I'm running out of time. My pastor even asks me when I'm gonna get married! And that's scary.

I guess my biggest fear is being an unmarried pastor. All hope of dating after that goes out the window!

Don't lose hope though, there so many great stories of people in their 30-somethings get married and being so happy. You're more mature, mature enough to make a wise decision. Better a wise desicion, than a hasty one that ends in a lifetime of regret.

Me too.



And that is indeed very true ~ and very good advice.

"this entire thread"

^^^i know, i know, but...

i want man

(i'm not generally known for my patience)

Yes Lora, but you want a really nice man, who cares about you, whom you trust. The best things are definitely worth waiting for.

When Mr Right comes along you will be so pleased that you didn't settle for Mr Wrong. I bet he's just around the corner ~ or maybe right before your very eyes & you hadn't noticed him!

Lora are you sure you want a man, maybe you want the "idea" of a man....I know I fall into that category alot cos' when I find one that seems nice , later I am like what was i thinking he is a dorkus...it's that darn " idea" of dating someone and being able to say I am not alone , someone cars that gets you everytime.LOL

lol--yeah, i do that too sometimes :P

and yes, PDM, your are right--better to be patient than sorry

Hi there, I agree 33 isn't old at all. I'm going to be 31 in a month and also fear that I will live alone amongst a plethera of feline companions. Well.. uh.. that's not really alone, but I'm sure you get the point. I unfortunately have a head start with the cat, one cat. As for Eharmony, It's a great idea, but so darn expensive. My fear of being alone stems from the fact that I used to weigh 400 lbs and underwent gastric bypass. I lost 200 lbs and now have like 40 lbs of skin and fat that just hang. So the fear is that no man is going to want to go out with a blob. Silly, but sadly true.

Hyacinth: What about a body lift? I had heard about that. I don't know what that costs though. I know of a woman who is getting that done after losing weight with a gastric bypass.

I think that I would try EHarmony, or that other one had I still been single. It sounds like a great way of meeting someone you are very compatible with. My daughter tried to take the test, and she said it went on and on and on, delving into your deepest areas of thoughts and feelings. She never finished the test. But she was just wanting to see what it was like, she wasn't looking to meet someone.

Hello Hyacinth,

I am really sorry to hear that.

Have you asked your doctor for advice?

There are operations to help with this, but there are dangers involved, too, so you need to find someone good & trustworthy for help & advice.

Maybe there are other things that you can do too. Do ask your doctor for ongoing help.

Good luck!

yes there are surgeries for this - if your weight has truly stablized - called a panniculectomy -
but it is a bigger surgery than it seems - so it should not be done without some thought and a doctor to review the pros and cons.

i would think that in the giant world of gastric bypass surgery patients - that you might even find a companion who has been through the process as well. At the very least, you would have something in common and could relate well ... and if you didn't care about his rolls of skin, he might not care about yours! I don't mean that to sound glib - i'm actually quite serious - it probably is a bonding experience.

Not that you should limit yourself to others who have had this surgery - just that i would think there would be many people out there to meet.

congrats on losing the weight too! even with the surgery - it takes alot of motivation and self control to lose that kind of weight. good job.

The biggest accomplishment is to your health, you are so much better off now, you may not look the way you want, (i bet not many people do even the skinny minnies).
I too have heard of that surgery they basically cut off excess and also sometimes cut you in half so to speak and literally lift. It sounds quite serios and dangerous, it would be probably one of the biggest decisions and most serious. Keep in mind you need to do what you want to feel good, but don't doo it just for a man, they should want you for you, and the reall you is the person you are on the inside, i know that sounds so cliche but it is true and will be truer as we age. Even the smaller people will sag and wrinkle.
Right know you should be so proud, what a huge accomplishment, if you have the self control to do that why i would think you could do anything. You are amazing.

I think we, as women, are just way too hard on ourselves. My husband and I have been married for 14 years, but I had a failed marriage before that, and it was hard. We automatically think that there is something wrong with us. Why is that?

I think getting married later in life is great (33 is NOT too late). It gives you time to figure out who you really are, and what you want out of your life. It can be worth the wait to find that someone who makes you happy and loves you for who you are.

And to the lady who lost the weight. WOW, that is wonderful. You should be so proud. And there is a man out there who will love you for exactly who you are. No changes needed. My husband has always been there for me no matter what my weight has been. And it has been everywhere. Not just for pregnancy either. I have a thyroid problem, and without medicine my weight can really go up.

Really great/wonderful men are out there!

Coco's Mama; I have a brother! He's 37 and not married. Want a long distance relationship!(just kidding, he is a nice man though. I would like to see him have a family. He would be good at it.)

I have given this advice before... it works. I was discussing with a coworker how my roommate is 36 and not married, but very worried and he told me a story about his 38 year old cousin. She had tried finding someone by trying multiple dating sites, bars, etc. and nothing worked. Finally, she decided to take up hobbies. She attended church and started participating in a running club. While many of the people she met were married, they knew single people and set her up on dates. One couple set her up with one of their single friends and she fell in love. The best part of it was that while she was doing these new activities, she broadened her social network and made a lot of new friends as well as found her husband. Maybe take up an activity - I do ceramics which is a ton of fun and I'm dating someone already, but it is a lot of fun to make new friends!!

Yes Four Keets, when finding a man is not the main focus, a man often arrives. I've noticed this with friends, too.

PDM - it is so true and so much fun to just live with happiness.

CM MY MOM GOT MARRIED AT AGE 36 you are still young.

Cali= That is how old my Dad was too. LOL. That is only 2 years away, and no sign of anyone yet. I have basically thrown in the towel, I need to focus on other things right now anyway. Thanks for trying to cheer me up !

ur welcome.

Well my son met his wife on line. (both in their 30's) She is great and it was so funny at their wedding her dad even said he never thought he would be a fan of on line dating but he had to eat his words because that's how his daughter met my son.
So I know there are nuts out there but there seems to be some sites that are ok for online. Just make sure when meeting that it is a very public place that's what my daughter-in-law did.

By the way they just had their first baby in August a little girl. So your not to old just show this to your dad.

I definately agree with everyone here that 33 is not too old. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, which is hopefully 40+ years (heck, maybe youll live to 100!).
I guess to give you advice, I would like to let you know a little about what Im going through right now. Im 17, I have a 10 mo. old daughter, and my husband of 8 mo. is currently in jail. Sounds horrible, right? I percieve myself as very mature for my age, and when I found out I was pregnant, I was about to go away to college, 2 years early. I gave up my scholarship to have my baby and marry her father. I wanted it to work soooo bad!. He has abused me physically 4 times when drunk. He has also abused me emotionally almost every day. I was so happy when he would give me a kiss because he wanted to, not just because I kissed him or he wanted s**.
He abused me for the last time on Xmas eve and I called the police. This is why he is in jail. At first I was so angry that I said I was done, by day 2 or 3 I wished I hadnt called 911 and wanted to be with him. I talked to a woman who had been in the same situation and she gave me a serous reality check. That day I was at my lowest. I cried all day. By like 6pm, I realized that crying didnt help, and I went to look for a job. My husband was working 2 jobs so I could stay home with our daughter and go to college. Just talking to people made such a difference! I had been controlled for so long. I was always scared something I did would make him angry. I could do what I wanted! I made plans with a friend and we went out dancing last night! I even met this really nice guy there (I told him no romance thoguh, not yet). Overall, I really found myself again.
I digress. The point Im trying to make is that Im 17 and have gone through so much. I have a baby and tons of emotional baggage, I still don't know who I am. I am slightly overweight and my body has been essentially destroyed by stretch marks. But this guy was still interested in me, for me. Knowing all of this that I just told you all.
You have an advantage. You are 33, not old, not super young, but an advantage. You know who you are, you have a career, and as someone else said, you probably wont experience that growing apart that many young couples do. If I can find love again, which I am beginning to beleive, you surely can find someone great. You are a single independant woman who from what Ive seen of your posts is very outgoing and fun. Go out dancing, join a club like someone said. If you dont put yourself out there and approach people, you wont meet anyone. Just go out with the intention of having fun. Youll be surprised what you find.
I have been though serious relationship hell and it was all because I was determined to save the world, to save my husband. I am coming to realize you have to meet lots of people and get to know them in order to find love. If I can do it, you definately can. I really wish you luck! You seem like a great woman, and you deserve a great guy.

Wow, i feel so silly & selfish now that I read your story. You are cleary mature for your age, I could not even take of a baby now nor do I care to, but my goodness you had yours at 17.
Just thinking about pregnancy sends me into pre partum depression no joke, it makes me queasy to think of my body morphing into this alien form with something moving inside, i know, i know it's a miracle and a baby but women talk about it like it's a hiccup, I think it would freak me out totally. I hope if I do find someone they can understand how I feel about babies. Ha at my age maybe he will come with some included.
Don't worry about stretch marks seriously don't i have had them since 13 my hips poped out and my skin didn't and gee are they not getting prettier with age (blech) granted you have more, my firend is a big stretchmark from her birth and she met a guy and she just told me they were engaged she was abused too.
So take your time, maybe just guy friends and be strong, you don't like something tell them to shut up! You don't need to put up with anything. You have your whole life ahead of you, imagine now what you do want from a realtionship ( you know what you don't) but think of what it is that you do and you won't feel so lost, back in the dating scene cos u will have an idea of what you have made as standards that are acceptable, for the new you!!
Happy new year !!

Hmm...

What I can tell you single ladies out there is not to lose hope. You're not too old. You're actually never too old until you're dead. How unique do you think you really are? Do you really think there aren't guys that have been struggling to find their diamond in the rough? Really, how could there not be a man out there that is a good fit for you at 20, 30, 40, or even more?

If they aren't finding you, start trying to find them. Ask yourself what you think your problem really is. Are you not meeting people or not meeting quality people? Try to think about how you can fix that. Many people here have offered many good suggestions... Suggestions I might use in the future, haha!

Sorry if my post sounds harsh, rude or offensive that is not my intent. I am just blown away by the idea that some ladies think it would never happen to them because it hasn't happened yet.

Cheers,
Chris
Single and Strong MAN, 23
Eclectus and Cockatiel Owner

Hi Vurtog / Chris

I'm sure that there must be a number of men out there, too, who feel that they are 'on the shelf'.

Welcome to the forum!

Well my cousin just married a really nice man (not only nice but has bucks as well) Anyway she is 3 years younger than me and not as skinny as a bean pole either. She is 56 years old by the way. He is about 10 years older than her but he is in shape and not a bad looking man at all. In fact he is probably in better shape than she is. So for everyone single out there there is hope.
Like I said my son was in his 30's before he met his wife.

ay dios mio--q yo no tengo nadie y yo se q solo tengo 19 anos, pero es q yo tengo tanto amor en mi corazon y quiero compartirlo con alguien......

translation: i hate men and single life

i know ya'll are all right, but still, it is FRUSTRATING!!!!!!

Take your time with this. You appear to be very attractive and that alone scares some guys!! Have fun, do things with your friends and explore your personal interests. And in time, that perfect guy will be there.