Hello,

There's this guy I like. The 'problem' is that he's very popular with the girls, so I don't know if he likes me too, if he's friendly or that he's just fooling around.

We go to the same pub. He randomly starts conversation and smiles at me lot. The last time, when he left, he came back especially to say goodbye; and he said goodbye with his hand on my arm. He has asked me to come with him to a local discotheque (don't know if I spelled it right). I had to go to the theatre with my parents, so I told him that I had plans, but that I would really like to go some other time.

So just when I started to like him, he brought a girl with him to 'our' pub. I asked her, in a subtle way ofcourse, if she was his girlfriend. She wasn't, but he took her to the cinema once.

Now I'm quite confused... Ofcourse, I don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't like me back.

So what do you think? Does he like me too, or not? And what should I do?

Many thanks!

Hi RawHeart

It's difficult to say.

And he may be wondering too ~ did she really have plans, or was that just an excuse.

It's difficult for lads, too.

Hi,

Things have gotten a bit more complicated since the last time I posted. He asked me again if I wanted to go out (with him and his friends), but my mother told me I couldn't. So I had to tell him again that I couldn't come with him.

I felt really bad, because I did want to go. So two weeks later I asked him if he wanted to 'go out sometime.' He told me that he would like to go out, but that he didn't want a relationship. He said that it had nothing to do with me. He just had a relationship which lasted six years, and is now enjoying his 'single time.' That is something that I can completely understand.

But there's another guy, from that same pub. We had a little fling, but he told me that he liked someone else. After that, we didn't talk for almost two months. Two days ago, we talked again and I felt a real spark. He told me that he wanted to get to know me better and that he and that other girl weren't involved anymore. We talked for almost two hours and had a great time.

The first guy (God, it sounds something from tv)came sitting next to us when we were talking and they were both fighting (verbally) over my attention, both complimenting me. Guy #1 asked me, when guy #2 was going to get his coat, if I liked guy #2 and what I thought of him (guy #1).

I was kind of flabbergasted by his directness and simply answered: 'I like you both, I can talk to you both.'

So this is actually the story:

There's guy #1, I like him a lot. He asked me out twice, he invited me for his birthday. I'm not really sure if he likes me and he doesn't want a relationship.

And guy #2, I like him too, but not as much as guy #1. We had a great conversation and there was a spark. He already told me that he likes me a lot.

What should I do? And do you think guy #1 does or doesn't like me?

RawHeart

P.S. I'm sorry if the English is bad, it's not my first language.

You say that your mother wouldn't let you go out with the first boy.

Why was that?

Are you very young?

Is she concerned?

How old are the boys?

Would your mother let you go out with either of them now?

Sorry for the questions ~ you don't have to answer them ~ not to me, anyway, but maybe to yourself.

And no-one but you can know which of them you prefer.

And maybe not even you can know which of them is the nicer person.

It must be fun having boys arguing over you, I suppose, but be careful ~ don't let it get out of hand.

Hi,

I've gotten to know both of the guys more. The first guy is very sweet and friendly and is falling in love with me (his words, not mine). We have great conversations, but I don't feel the 'butterflies', if you know what I mean.

The second guy doesn't want a relationship and is kind of a player. Nevertheless, two days ago we had a very fun conversation and found out that we have a lot in common. But the day after that, on his birthday party, he was flirting with these two blonde girls. The first guy told me that he had a different girl every week. The problem is that I do feel the butterflies when I talk to him.

What do you think I should do now? I've already told the first guy that maybe we shouldn't be talking so much, because I'm not capable of returning his feelings. I don't want him to get hurt. If I really listen to my heart, I should go for the 'player.' But the problem is that he's not capable of returning MY feelings, which makes it a pretty futureless situation.

RawHeart

If you don't want to break someone's heart, or have your own heart broken, why don't you wait until you find someone who genuinely cares about you and who also gives you those butterflies?

There's no harm in being friendly with other boys, but why have a 'boyfriend' who isn't right for you?

Things still aren't solved, unfortunately. I took your advice and decided to just let things go. And things were going pretty good, actually.

But somehow, I still had feelings for the 'player.' I got so sick of this that I just told him about my feelings. He said that he liked me too, very much. I asked him about all those other girls, and even threw in a couple of their names. And of every girl I mentioned, he explained that he didn't like her, didn't even kiss her. When I told him that he was widely known as a player, he said that he honestly didn't know and he didn't seem to like it, either.

So I got really happy, because he said that he liked me too. But the week after that, he said that he wished I was older (he's 22, I'm almost 17). It bothers him that I'm still in school when he just got his first job. This is something I can understand, eventhough I don't like it. I told him 'Well, things are the way they are. No point in making a big deal out of that.' He answered with: 'So now it's just 'case closed' for you? This is so permanent!' I said yes, because eventhough I like him a lot, I didn't feel like waiting for him. What if I fall in love even more, and he doesn't like me anymore? Then I waited for nothing and wasted my time.

So now, things have changed between us. When we're going out with a group, he's either talking to me or watching me like a hawk. Everytime we go on a picture together, he pulls me as close to him as he can. I love this, but it confuses me at the same time.

Now I know that he likes me, and I know that I like him. What am I supposed to do now? Ask him what he wants or just do nothing and let him do the work?

Thanks a lot for all the answers and advice!

Difficult.

I hadn't realised about the age difference.
Sixteen is still very young when compared with 22, for boyfriends & girlfriends.

How do your parents feel about this?

I've always 'dated' older guys, and every relationship I had was with an older guy; it's not that I don't like boys my age, but I have better conversations and share more laughs with older guys.

So my parents know about this and don't dissaprove; they're used to me having older 'boyfriends.'

wow.. ur so xxxxxxx lucky.. i've had guys fight over who i like, but not like the way ur guys did.. actually, i had a similar situation as u... i have PE with these two 17 year old cute white guys that "act black" so called.. im just 15, but i like guys 2 or 3 years older.. i liked this one guy and i think he liked me back.. but im not allowed to date for many reasons... since things were getting too bad, i tried flirting with the other cute guy, because the guy i like didnt take me seriously when i told him i cant date and to not touch me.. and then both of them think i like them..

the truth is: i did like the guy who liked me first.. then i started liking the other guy

problem: i cant date, both guys smoke and are on drugs (they go to the bathroom everyday in PE and smoke weed n stuff) the first guy wont leave me alone

i should have made a new thread for this, but i dont really need counseling, its in the past..

Well, be aware & be careful!

so like he probably likes y but dose noy want to show it but wants you to say something