so i have this ex girlfriend. we broke up a year and a half ago. within the last 6 weeks or so, i have realized the feeling i still have for this girl. about 3 or 4 weeks ago when i told her i still liked her, she said, "i have dated so many d-bags tyhat i have become such a b*tch when it comes to guys. i tend to hurt a guy before he can hurt me, and i dont wanna hurt you."

thinking that was a poor excuse, i called her on it. this time, she rephrased her answer to say, "i like you, but not enough to hurt you." that was weeks ago. within the last week or so, her behavior seems to have changed, and i would like to provide examples.

she had knee surgery on tuesday. i went and saw her on thursday. i brought her gifts. i gave her two smalls stuffed animals, a bear and a monkey. i also gave her some of her favorite sugar cookies and a carton of strawberry milk, her favorite drink. she was very very appreciative of the gifts. she told me i was amazing and that she loved me. she said told me she really liked the gifts.

now, she lives on a horse ranch. my brother and i clean the stalls in exchange for lessons. so, we were there to clean the stalls. when i was told to get to work, she got upset that i had to leave her and she told me a had better come back and say hi to her before i left for good. (because she had surgery, she was confined to bed). i did go back and see her before i left.

yesterday i was at the ranch (her house) cleaning horse stalls again. as i walked by her open window, she called my name out excitedly. so, i went inside to see her. we talked, we hung out for a while. she offered me some of the treats she had received from visitors. she made a point of telling me that she doesnt offer her treats to just anyone.

eventually we moved outside so i could get to work on the stalls. again, she was upset when i had to leave her to get to work. she jokingly called me a jerk for leaving her. i can tell she is joking when she calls me a jerk, but i can also tell she really didnt want me to leave her side. she told me to work super fast so i could come back and hang out with her. she also told me that if i cleaned the stalls within a certain time limit, she would give me a surprise. i did not finish within her time limit, but she gave me the surprise anyway. the surprise was 2 pictures she had hand drawn just for me. she again made a point of telling me that she never draws anything for anyone ever and that i should feel special because of it. she also gave me a First Place ribbon for "awesomeness."

now today at her mom's birthday party, i got to see her. today was all about clinginess. i actually find the clinginess cute really. for example, she got up to say hi to her friend and asked if i wanted to come. she had me sit next to her on the swinging bench, she wouldnt let anyone take my seat. she would also tell me to "sit next to her." i bunch of people were doing flips adn stuff on the trampoline, but she didnt care about them, once i told her i was going to hang out, she followed a few minutes later. she left after i left. she wanted to take a whole bunch of face-to-face photos with her camera. also, when she went inside to go watch tv, she told me to come along. yet again, she did not want me to leave her, she wanted me to be with her.

finally, when i hurt my neck doing a flip i had never tried before, she began to message my neck so it would feel better. the other thing i found interesting is that, randomly, she turns to me and says, "which way do you like my hair? let down or pinned back?" she told me that i girl will do her hair a certain way to match the interests of the boy she likes. she said that i girl will do her hair the way the boy likes just to make him happy and catch his attention. those were her words exactly. so even if that doesnt pertain to every girl, it pertains to her.

now, last night she was sitting between me and a female friend of hers. she asked me specifically which way i preferred her hair styled. after i told her, she put her hair exactly the way i had told her. if she really cared about what looked better overall, id assume she wouldve asked her female friend who probably wouldve given her a better opinion. instead she asked me, so id assume she wanted to know what i liked personally. perhaps she cared for my opinion on what I THOUGHT looked good rather than what may have looked better to everyone else?

so, does she like me, or is this all friendly?

Hi olderbro(M) & welcome

When you told her you liked her, she told that that she now has a habit of hurting boys ~ but she didn't want to hurt you,
However, since then, she has become very affectionate.

I suppose that the question is :
Is she just doing what she now does, in order to hurt boys ~ this time you ~ or are you so different from other boys that she really has changed her ways and she wants you back and won't try to hurt you?

Who finished with whom last time?
Why did you finish then?
How old were / are you both?

If/ when friends or family members see you together, how do they respond? ~ What do they see?

The way you describe her, she seems to really like you.
She did say that she didn't want to hurt you.
But does she want you as a friend or as a boyfriend?
Is she just enjoying the attention of a nice attentive boy, or does she really care?

Difficult to say, without knowing her.
Perhaps you should ask her.
Have you tried?

okay, thank you for the response. here are my answers to your questions:

she ended it the first time and i never got an explanation why. we were both shy of 17. now we are both almost 19.

we dated for just shy of seven months. i am still her longest relationship and i am the only ex boyfriend who is still present in her life. this is why i believe she said she "doesnt want to hurt me", for fear that if she hurts me like she hurts everyone else, that i may not come back the second time and remain her friend.

when friends see our posts on Facebook, they have asked me what is going on exactly. they ask if we are together again. Both of my parents have asked me whether or not her and i are dating again and are just being secretive about it. they both say that to them (and anyone else who see her and i together) it appears that we are boyfriend and girlfriend again. her mom has also asked her the same thing (whether or not we are dating). she never told me that specifically, her mom told my mom she had asked and so i eventually found out.

so, apparently to both friends and family it would appear that we are dating by the way we act together. we hang out together and we always have our heads together about something. even to me it seems that there wouldnt be much of a stretch from what we are doing now to dating again.

i want to ask her again, but i have yet to do so for fear that the answer is "no." i really really want her back and the possibility of receiving a negative answer and suddenly losing all chance is a thought that is unbearable. i suppose confirmation of some sort that all of these signs are not just in my head might help a little though.

I can understand why you are concerned, but perhaps you could ask her something a little less direct ~ like whether she sees you as always being friends, or whether she sees you as being closer than that at some stage.

That way she wouldn't be pressured into a yes or no answer.
What do you think?

okay, that does help. thank you. does anything i said the second time around or any of my answers to your questions change your thoughts?

im just curious, as an unbiased outside opinion, would you say she is leaning more towards "liking" me or is it inconclusive at this point? i wont hold your answer against you, just curious. Thanks again.

lol, ok first off im a girl kinda doesnt matter but i have an idea of what she thinks of u.
1. i am sure she likes u
2.yes, i think she is still trying to befriend u
3.and yes i think she is leaning more towards "liking" u

thank you kirbygirl1, i really appreciate the feedback. and im glad that you can recognize the signs and explain them for me given that you are a girl yourself. i really want her back and it is nice to hear that i may have a chance again. so, once again, thank you

Oh, I definitely think that you stand a chance ~ I just wouldn't want to get your hopes up, based upon a scenario that I haven't seen for myself. But, if both Mums think that this looks positive, then they are probably right

I think she still likes U. But the best way is waiting to let the time make everything more clear

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

all these positive remarks are giving me hope. im glad it is not just me who thinks so, but others think so as well. thanks again everyone for the feedback.

Good luck