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Posted By: Niki Living with in-laws - 01/07/09 10:29 PM
Anyone else ever went through this phase?

I'm in it, and find it hard to stand sometimes. Plus it's an extended family situation with crazy-aunt, grandmother, uncle, god-daughter + her cousin + her grandmother, and brother-in-law. 11 people in all in the house.

Any advise on making it through a living with in-law phase?
Posted By: Carl Re: Living with in-laws - 01/08/09 05:35 AM
For a few months, in my first marriage, we lived with my in-laws - my wife and I and our four kids. There was the mom and dad in-law. But that was all. Of course, that was 8 plus their Pomeranian and our calico cat.

It is hard to stand at times. I had it easier with my DIL than my MIL, as he always seemed more like a real Dad than the one I had but barely knew. But my MIL, though she was a good person, seemed to always irritate or offend me, or hurt my feelings or vice versa. Finally I started "good-naturedly" acting as if what she was saying to me was meant as humor. And I would josh with her.

It helped me keep my balance, long enough to hold on until we moved out.

Perhaps you can't do that in your husband's family's culture, but maybe you can do it do it mentally, or subvocally. You know use humor within yourself to kind of be a safety valve.
Posted By: PDM Re: Living with in-laws - 01/08/09 12:08 PM
Hi Niki

Sorry, I can't really help, except to suggest that you try to spend as much time apart as possible, so that the 'together' times become more of a treat than a burden.

I made a vow that I would not get married unless and until I could afford my own house, because I refused to live with parents or in-laws. I think that I did the right thing and it is what I would recommend to anyone else. I saved from when I was a child to this end.
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