Deep .. Breathes.

Posted by: 428pm

Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 08:23 PM

Does anyone else ever get so frustrated that they feel this pressure in their chest? Like a buzz in your head, and your jaw hurts, and your back between your shoulders hurt, and a headache starts?

And you just feel so 'tight' and you want to cry?

That's how I feel right now. My son sometimes, he is just so....BUSY. So overwhelming!!

I was trying to just do something simple, organize the junk at the top of the stairs, and he was touching everything, and climbing on everything, and I told him not to, and he didn't even acknowledge that I spoke, let alone listen to me. Eeverything was really heavy and every single time I turned around he was literally on my heels so that I tripped over him. I don;t even know how many times I said, "move" "go over there" "go play" "out of the way please" and finally "GET AWAY FROM ME!!"

He just CONSTANTLY makes noise. A non stop whining and crying and hgih pitched demanding. It is WEARING ME DOWN. I don't know how much more of this I can take before I snap. He follows after me like a puppy. He NEVER just goes and plays in his room, or sits and watches television. He is a whining, obtrusive APPENDAGE.

I love him more than life itself. I do, and I enjoy spending time with him. But I am just so stressed, and he can be so frustrating, and I get to the point where I am absolutely DESEPERATE to get AWAY from him. Even if only for one single hour.

I feel awful feeling this way, he is my flesh and blood, my only son, my love!! BUT OMG IM GONNA SNAP!!!

Is this even normal?????
Posted by: Carl

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 08:30 PM

Everyone does feel this way at times.

Is it normal for you right now? Perhaps not. I encourage you to seek help from someone - partner? parent? friend?

Are you a member of a church? Where you can seek counseling and/or help?

Do you know other Moms whom you could talk with - maybe y'all can organize a Moms-day-off or something like that.

Hang in there. It will get better.

And on the project - maybe best to put it off for another day.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 08:55 PM

Get a baby sitter and pamper yourself a little bit. Getting away for a couple of hours can make such a big difference.
Raising children can be overwhelming and you need some help. Is the father in your child's life? Perhaps, he can lend a hand and give you some free time.
The fact that you consider your child an appendage is a cry for help. Some children need our attention more than others. Please talk to someone. You're not alone. My first child was extremely hyper-active and never slept. I swore I'd never have anymore children. Well, I now have 3 wonderful kids. You will get past this, if you get the help you need.
Posted by: Me & 6 Fids

Re: Deep Frickin Breathes. - 11/13/08 09:02 PM

Hey 428...there's nothing wrong with going inside your room and shutting the door. Or try to get your sister to take him for a few hours or so. I think your son is like 3-4 and i know all about them being attached. Does he have a favorite tv show or tape he likes to watch? I know you shouldn't use that as a "baby-sitter" but at least it gives you a break for 30 mins or so.

Also like Carl said, everything doesn't have to be done in one shot...i've been working on my son's bathroom (painting) for like 2 yrs...and i don't see an end in sight...well maybe when i lose my job, but that's another topic!

Hang in there and you got us to talk to!
Posted by: PDM

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 09:10 PM

Hi smile

Yes it can be completely normal to feel like this. It depends on the situation, though.

I love my kids ~ always did love my kids ~ but I found motherhood so totally overwhelming that I did not enjoy it at first.

I suffered post-natal depression and I often just wanted to escape. My lovely elder son suffered because of this ~ and I feel guilty to this day, though he thinks that I am being silly. He's 22 now.

This is from someone who had a settled loving marriage at the time and a huge amount of support from my parents, so for anyone with less support it could be much more difficult.

Don't think that you are the only person who finds motherhood difficult. On the other hand, if you feel close to snapping, get help. You don't want to let anything happen that might hurt your son, because you love him so much and he needs you so badly.

Perhaps your sister or a friend could help you out. Perhaps you could get some help and support from your counsellor.

Children pick up on things. Your son wants to be near you. He want to show you love and support. He is doing this the only way he knows how to ~ by being close to you. I know that this can be hard to cope with, but remember, they grow up so quickly that before long he will be heading off and you will find it hard to get him to spend too much time at home with you. That's how it works.

Re-prioritise. Spend time with him, cuddle him, read him stories. The junk will keep re-appearing, but toddlerhood is a brief and special time. Make the most of it ~ but also find some time for yourself. As Luv My Bird says 'Get a baby sitter and pamper yourself a little bit'.

Take care!
Posted by: london blue rose

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 09:58 PM

sounds like a nightmare. maybe you can call the tv show the nanny and get some help for yourself.
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 10:33 PM

I just want to re-emphasize, DON'T BE DOWN ON YOURSELF. You are a good mom, but all new moms (and old LOL) need a break. You'd be surprised how a couple of hours can make a huge difference. Take a walk, treat yourself to lunch, get a glass of wine and breathe.
Posted by: 428pm

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/13/08 11:59 PM

My Boyfriend came over with his friend and I practically lunged on him at the door lol....

I just vented for a little bit, I was sitting in the office talking to my bf's best friend about Zack, and my bpyfriend left the room. He came back and threw my work out clothes at me and said, Rob and I will watch Zack for a few hours, go work out, you NEED it.

I just got back. I ran until I got a runner's high, then I ran a bit more. I ran until the knots in my back were gone, I ran until I started to think of my son's smiling face and how much I loved seeing it walking through the door. That's when I turned back for home.

laugh I love that my bf and I are living together now, and that my sister has gone back home, and I have full time care of my son again...I guess it's just all a bit harder than I thought though.

My boyfriend told me that from nowon each evening after dinner, I can take an hour to run to clear my head and re-charge. My son is amazing, but he is very challenging. He is smart and very active and he asks questions CONSTANTLY, he gets into things ALWAYS. It gets overwhelming sometimes.

I suppose I just need to take the time to be alone sometimes.
Posted by: PDM

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/14/08 12:07 AM

Originally Posted By: 428pm
... My son is amazing, but he is very challenging. He is smart and very active and he asks questions CONSTANTLY, he gets into things ALWAYS. It gets overwhelming sometimes.
He sounds very bright.
Bright kids are a real challenge, but they are also very rewarding ~ and exhausting. I've been there ~ with post-natal depression.
It's not easy, but with support, you'll be fine.
And it sounds as if your boyfriend is really supportive. That's great!

I suppose I just need to take the time to be alone sometimes.

Yes, everyone needs time to recharge the batteries! smile
Posted by: Carl

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/14/08 12:10 AM

What a wonderfully supportive guy your BF is! Good for him.

Thanks for telling us.
Posted by: Me & 6 Fids

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 11/14/08 01:50 AM

That's great your b/f was able to help you out and will continue to help out. It's a definite plus if you have that extra hand to just give you a break even if its not every nite. But since he sees you being stressed and wants to give that "me time" to you...take it and do what you need to do!
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Deep .. Breathes. - 10/26/12 09:05 PM

I was just thinking about deep breathing and found this thread on the topic. I absolutely agree that deep breathing can be quite helpful for every day health, and even more helpful in stressful situations.

I am striving to do my best to sit up and do long, deep breaths more often, especially if I feel my shoulders tighten up. It's wonderfully relaxing!

A yoga technique us to block one nostril with a finger, and breathe in slowly. Hold, then breath out. Now unblock that one and block the other nostril. Do the same thing. After a few rounds I feel much more relaxed.

It would seem that breathing should be so easy - but it's so easy to fall into shallow stress breathing.