Cheating and Lying
Building Honesty :
Some real advice about cheating / signs
True story... I had finally met the love of my wife. Se had one serious relationship before she met me and the others were on-and-off dates she had from online personals (of course before me). We got engaged and all seemed well... she used to see this one person and their relationship was sexual. When we got together she told me the guy was history. Well one day I came home earlier from work (I was feeling sick) and I was living in her apartment at the time.
She was still working and she didn't know I was home. The phone rang and I answered and it ended up being the same guy she claimed was out of her life (the one she had a sexual relationship with). Long story short... looking back I can see the signs that were staring me in the face, but back then I was too oblivious. Here are some real tips that will help those having issues today:
1.) When we were dating and went to her room, she would always delete the voice messages on her answering machine. Why she did this in front me is baffling, but looking back I think in a way she got a rush from it knowing I was there with her. When I asked why she was deleting the messages from the answering machine she said "It's the same old people saying the same old thing." Bingo, that is MORE than a clue as I found out later. That is hard evidence. She was obviously hiding the fact that her sex friend was still calling her.
2.) This was when we were still dating (before getting engaged). She kept a pretty strict schedule and always left work between 10pm-11pm. Her arrival home was always the same time. She never came home from work, and after calling her 50 times, she finally answered the phone and said she was at the 24-hour Wal-mart shopping. It was a weekday and she worked two jobs; she had to be up by 6am to be to work by 7am, so her shopping 'til 4am in the morning made no sense. She drove school bus in the morning and you need sleep to do that. Again hard evidence. I was blind to the fact because I wanted to believe her.
3.) Her roommate kept telling me (in a round-about way) that some people will love someone very much, but the other person doesn't love the same back. Ha! I was a fool... she knew what was going on and was saying (without hurting my feelings) that I was being cheated on behind my back. More hard evidence.
4.) Dead phone calls... if you receive ANY dead phone calls (especially if it’s more than twice a month, and even on a weekly basis) that is hard evidence that your spouse was seeing someone and then stopped. The other person is upset and he / she is calling to find out what happened. Again that's what happened to me. This also ties into the next one:
5.) When I was home sick that day her 'sex' friend called asking where she was. It can't get even more obvious than that...
While I did end up marrying this woman (after walking out on her), we still needed counseling. Even to this day we're not as solid as we should be, but even then nothing is perfect.
This tip was submitted by an anonymous visitor to our website.
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