Stages of a Relationship

Talk About It :
He´s Going to College

People change a *whole* lot when they go to college, because for the first time they are on their own, making their own decisions, living their own lives. There is a ton of experimentation as they figure out exactly what they like and don´t like about life. There´s a general atmosphere of "Let´s give this a try" which makes a committed relationship really hard to manage, especially if the person you´re committed to is far away.

Usually it´s the guy who goes off to college, leaving the girl behind. Also, usually the guy wants to be non-exclusive when this happens. The boyfriend is looking at college as a time to explore his possibilities, and he doesn´t want to be tied down to any one person. It´s tough for you, because it sounds like you´re still in high school and therefore still wanting to have that serious relationship with him.

A committed relationship needs two committed individuals. If he´s against being exclusive, then even if you "force" (or convince) him to say he´ll be true to you, that because he really doesn´t want to that he´d be likely to slip up once he got into that college environment, and that would hurt you immensely.

I know it´s really hard when you love and care for someone, and have dedicated a ton of time to that person, but there´s the old adage about ´if you love something, set it free´. If he goes to college and realizes how special you are, he won´t end up with other people and will come back to you. If he ends up turning into a Frat Boy and hanging around with other women, then he probably wasn´t what you were hoping for in the first place ... it´s easy for men to be true and committed when in high school, when they are built-in rules. It´s much harder when they´re in college and there are almost no rules ...

This is really rough for the woman, but remember that just about every female on the planet has gone through this, since we tend to date older guys. You´re definitely not alone, you are living a very common experience.

This tip was submitted by an anonymous visitor to our website.

Stages of a Relationship > Talk About It

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