Breaking Up
How to Break Up :
Phone Calls to End Long-term relationship
My boyfriend of four years, who had seen me at my best and worst, ended our relationship via phone a week ago. Afterward, I was a wreck, sobbing and trying to figure out what went wrong and trying to fix it. It was hard because he insisted that he loved me but wasn't doing what it took for the relationship to work out. He admitted he wasn't putting in any effort at all. At first I was hurt. Then after a week, I am now furious at him and there is no possibility I'll ever be friends with him (or see him for that matter). I explained to him how his break-up strategy was selfish and cowardly.
Here's where he went wrong:
1) He should not have broken up with me on the phone. It trivialized the relationship and hurt my feelings because I thought he cared deeply for me.
2) His explanation showed that he hadn't thought it through. He was obviously acting off the cuff and that infuriated me because it is a final decision that should not have been taken lightly. That he didn't even take the time to think or discuss this with me (in person) shows that he lacked maturity.
3) The ole it's not you, it's me: Ex-man said that he wasn't where he should be in his own life. He said I was doing so well on my own and didn't need him. Breaking up on my behalf was cowardly -- if I wanted to end the relationship, I would've.
4) He expected me to be his friend. After the grueling 4 years with this guy and the breakup, there is no way I can be his friend. I just expressed my strong feelings of disgust/dislike to him. The thought of entering another (even platonic) relationship with him makes me physically ill.
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