Cheating and Lying
I Have Cheated - Now What? :
Cheating is not the answer...!
Well, I must confess that I was too one of those people who would always condemn cheating. I always said I would never do it, but I did. I learned that in life, it is easy to swim outside the water. You can give advice and pass judgment on any situation you hear about, but until you are in that water, you are only advicing on part of the story.
I cheated on my wife and denied with my life. The truth is that I was not man enough to cut it off when I needed to. I always thought that my wife would change the behaviors that bothered me, but it was not the case. For sure, she cheated on me once, I caught her. It was, let,s say, long-distance cheating, but it was cheating and it tore me up. But I decided to stay with her. Then, there were 2 other situations in which it made me distrust her more with two other guys, but I loved her so I stayed with her. I did not trust her, but I stayed with her.
Then, I felt more and more unhappy with her. She complained about everything. Nothing seemed enough. We had a big house, I bought her a new car, I only spent time with her, I took her traveling, and went out to nice dinners, but it was never enough. She,d always said I didn,t give her enough time. Furthermore, I never felt her support. The more I tried to please her, the more dissatisfied she seemed. I was in a hole, unhappy, depressed, but I kept thinking she would change. But the change never took place. So, I cheated. At first, it was just casual talking about my issues. The other woman would advise me and counsel me, she,d say "If after all she,s done to you, you are still there, then you love her". But we started feeling something else, not love yet, but something.
But I sent those two emails and my wife found them. Today, I cannot say I love my wife, it has been too long since we fed this love of ours, and it slowly died. Yet, I feel guilty. I feel like I should have been braver and told my wife the truth, but I was afraid I,d hurt her. But I ended up hurting her more. She did not deserve it, I was a coward, but you live and learn. You never say never, but I,d say that I never learned so much as I did during these tough times.
If you don,t like something, say it. If things continue the wrong way, end it. It is far better than losing your honor and image as a man. Never judge, as one never knows what the other person really goes through and was going through before taking a course of action.
So, my wife found two e-mails I wrote to her.
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