Tell her you care for her



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Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have fallen for my friend. My best friend, to be exact. I've known her for 11 years (she's 21 and I'm 19), but we never really got to know each other until about six months ago. Sometime around December, I developed some sort of attatchment to her. Since then it's got much more intense. In the past she's stated things such as "You're like the younger brother I never had" and "I wish I could find a guy like that" (the latter in reference to songs about the "nice guy," who I happen
to be). She has also said things pertaining to relationships, but I don't know what to make of
them. For the last few weeks I've been fretting over weather or not I should tell her how I feel. This situation is very confusing to me. I've never had such intense feelings for anyone before. She's the quiet type that's not really
into the dating scene. After seeking adive from others, the guys have said "go for it" while the ladies have said "don't." This baffles me. It's totally stressing me out trying to decide what I should do. I really wouldn't want to hurt her or lose her as a friend. Is there any other way besides directly asking her, to find out if she's interested? Thanks for any insight you can provide.




User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
Tell a friend


I've seen this work in your situation several times.
Enlist the aid of a female friend of hers. Tell the female friend the truth about how you feel. Ask her to casually let it slip to the girl you like, but also that you didn't want to tell her and jeopardise your friendship, which you value. This (i.) lets her in on how you feel, and it does it in a very convincing way, as if she's "found out herself", (ii.) comes with a vote of approval from the female friend.
After that, wait and see what happens.

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