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Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
My husband's ex is a lesson to us all so listen up

My husband's ex is a lesson to us all so listen up: Stalking ususally happens when the ex feels jilted or someone else broke it off with her...this ex cheated, lied, stole money, committed credit fraud against her then hubby at the bank where she worked and even admitted openly to cheating on the guy she left him for. My husband let a lot of the shit go in hopes she would not harm their daughter (we found out later she had a fling and the kid isn't his though we pay support on it) So to my point: This ex did the dumping and damage and was sickeningly sweet to my husband when she left because she loved that he was suffering. She kept "tabs" on him innocently through is so-called friends.
The moment we met and got married, this ex started her sweet crap with me. Very "innocent" I may add. The first step of a stalker can be mild. I was moving from another state and couldn't be with my then fiance at christmas - his ex for the first time ever, hops a plane across the country to "visit" her kid who he had for the holiday. Innocent enough right? Wrong. She then uses that to e-mail me later on and say "Me and your husband hung out and are the best of buds" Something I knew was a lie and my husband was ticked that she even said something like that. Then the next thing was calling his cell on our wedding night to "congratulate" us. bullshit. This is the stalkers way of "making themselves known" and staking their perceived territory. Learn this. Picture a dog pissing on every tree in the yard and you'll get the point.
The ex then proceeded to create all types of weird drama (yes she was drunk and high when she did it but often not). She suddenly accuses us of bizzare things and blames me, the new wife. She then tries to befriend me and give me the "we're girls talk" and says she really needs to tell me the truth about my husband--oh, and because she herself can't have kids, she tells me not to ever reproduce with him.
Reality check? She's older, in her mid 40's, spayed, angry and jealous that she left first and paraded around telling everyone she was marrying the guy she left my husband for and it all blew up in her face. Her solution, try to break us up and get him back. She sees him doing things for me he'd never do for her and she thinks, "if I can just get him back and use my kid as the golden ticket, I can reap all this good fortune". In short, she's a miserable bitch.
The last straw was her latest tactic, befriend one of the stupid women in my husband's family who has her own guy issues. Male bashing ensues and my husband's ex is so obvious about her "scheme" that she emails us a sob story note to show how nice she is, along with her sob story letter to his cousin. The next messages were "ha ha, I'm turning your family against you". His cousin fell for the scam and reamed us! Meanwhile we hadn't told the family a paternity test came back negative, and that we were fine about not visiting the illegit kid the ex tried to use as a pawn. Another thing blew up in her face.
Sorry this is so long and choppy but the point is, if you don't see early stalker warning signs you're sure to lose years of life dealing with ex's like this. We've had to change email addresses a bunch of times and tell this ex repeatedly to STOP harassing us. She hates my husband, screwed him over, now she's jealous of us and feels the need to punish and control him. First she denied visitation as a plan to upset my hubby - backfire! He didn't care. Next tactic: you're trying to kidnap my child! Wrong. We told her to cease visits for good. Next tactic: guilt trip - why don't you want to see her - what do you mean you don't want her?(do you see how you can't win with a psycho) next tactic: slander us to the family and make up lies. All the while e-mailing us stupid unecessary crap. See the pattern? The ex feels that negative attention is better than none. She gives up dates and time with her kids to plot and plan this garbage. She has a sick need to control my husband and upset his life on a daily basis. She'll do anything to keep in touch with him. This is a STALKER. Stalkers do not always send love letters and all that jazz--they can simply be so miserable they want to drag you down with them.
Advice: Cease all contact. Don't get sucked into the lie "look what you're doing to the kids" If that moron is the custodial parent and they are the abuser/stalker then the guilt is on them. Don't hesitate to cut off all contact with a stalker ex, or even your own family if they turn on you.
Especially if there are drugs/alcohol involved as with my husband's ex, you never can tell what they will do. Your goal is protect yourself and husband and your own children together. Don't ignore the "sweet" crap. Think Amy Fisher folks...con-artists and manipulators come in many guises.
Thanks for listening.






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