Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
I just don't want to be alone anymore
It's been about three weeks since I moved out of our apartment after he ended two years of us being together. It's funny -- he's the one who started our relationship, and he's the one who ended it. How does that happen?
I remember meeting him at a mutual friend's house, and at first I didn't think anything of him -- only that he seemed like a nice enough guy. Then, I find out from friends that he really wanted to see me again, and he would go to places hoping I'd be there.
Finally, at a friend's leaving party, he approached me and after talking with him for most of the night, he kissed me very deeply. I was actually shocked by how bold he was, but I figured that I liked him, we had a lot in common -- maybe this would go somewhere.
He asked me to meet him at a bar the following night, which I did. We ended up at his place and talked until 5am. I have never done that before with anyone.
As the days and weeks went on, we were unseparable and we were clearly falling in love with each other. He said it first and I told him I was afraid, because I had never been in love before and was scared of being hurt. He told me that he could never hurt me -- I believed him.
We travelled places together, he insisted I meet his parents and he, in turn, met mine. I thought for sure that he was 'the one'.
Guess I was wrong.
The change in him was almost instant -- happened within a week. He would come home from work, head in his hands, saying he was so stressed out and then he told me that he was frightened of our future together. I didn't understand what he meant -- I asked him how could he be so frightened. He knew that I loved him and that I would always be there for him. He didn't reciprocate.
Finally, during our last night together, I made a decision to leave. He had said before that he was thinking of leaving, by then my heart was completely broken. We shared the same bed, which was awkward, and I remember cuddling up to him for one last time. He used to put his arms around me and we would fall asleep -- he didn't this time. So, I took a few things, my toothbrush, clothes, etc and left to stay with a friend.
We still have some things to settle, regarding bills and what not and I absolutely dread seeing him again. Last weekend when he had to sort something out, I got the same feeling I have before I go to the dentist or see a doctor -- sick, nervous, fidgety... Before he left to catch his cab, he told me to "Take care" -- sympathy from him that I don't need.
I just wish I could stop thinking of him. I know now that he couldn't have possibly, truly loved me like he said he did, otherwise this would have never happened. I feel sad, not because we're no longer together, but because the immense love I felt for him is fading away -- I am falling out of love with him. I'm so afraid of not ever finding the right guy, since I was so convinced I found the right guy with him. I can't go through this kind of pain again. My friends and family say that this will only make me stronger. I hope they're right. I just don't want to be alone anymore.
4.80 out of 5 slimes
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