Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
Will never wait again

I can't say he was truely an "ex", so to speak, but that is how I think of him now, now that I've grown.

A friend of mine was a bartender at a well known family restaurant/sports bar. Every Tuesday night when I got off work, I would go to the bar to hang out with my friend while having an after work drink.

During one of my visits, I was introduced to my friend's co-worker. I'll call him "B". B and I hit it off right away. We flirted with each other at the bar while he was working, talked between his customers, and so on.

After a few weeks of this, B finally asked me out on a date. I agreed, and we went out to see a movie. I pretty much fell madly in love with him at this point. Although, I was pretty skeptical about such sudden feelings. I mean, a few months are only a few months, right? Certainly not long enough for true love. I knew this, but decided to ignore it.

For the first year, I can't say we were a couple. I only saw him about once a month, outside of the bar that is. His reasons were that he had a daughter, and he had to be carefull who he brought into his life. He said he had to make sure the relationship was going to last, that he didn't want to make a bad example for his little girl. I can understand that, I have a son myself. We never went to his house. Never went to my house. Not if our children were there, which was most of the time.

By the end of the first year, I was truely in love with him. I couldn't admit it to myself then, or to him, but I can now. I never allowed myself to say it aloud, even when by myself, because I KNEW this was all just going to end in heartbreak. But I couldn't leave.

The second year was the worst. By this time, I had met his daughter and parents one time. He had met my son one time. This was in a public setting on Fouth of July. It made it easier and more comfortable that way.

But that's where the comfort ended. He'd call me up, ask me out, we'd go out, have fun, then I wouldn't hear from him for another month. And it's not just that he wouldn't call. But I called him a few times, with no response. I'd still see him at the bar, but this was starting to no longer matter. Then he started making plans with me and when the time came, he didn't show up. I'd finally get in touch with him a FEW DAYS LATER, and he'd give me some bull-sh!t excuse like "I fell asleep".

I'd mentally get to the point where I told myself I was done with him. It was over. But I didn't bother myself with telling him so. I'd convince myself that I was no longer in love with him. I'd cry, I'd morn, I'd grieve. I'd be okay. I'd move on.

Then . . . WHAM!!!!!!!

He calls me up out of the blue, and I fall right back into the game of cat and mouse. I'd be in love again. I'd hang on his every word. I though life would end without him.

And he'd ignore me again. Ditch me again. Give me excuses again.

I'd cry, I'd morn, I'd grieve. I'd be okay. I'd move on.

Then . . . WHAM!!!!!!!

Such a vicious cycle. 12 months, 12 times he did this. 12 times I let him do this.

I finally came to my senses when I met a man who enjoyed spending time with me. Who, for once, seemed to be the cat, and I the mouse.

B lifted me up, to the highest heights of heaven, then threw me down to hell like I was garbage. But I hung on for 2 WHOLE YEARS, hoping, praying he would change. But I was, of course, wrong.

I will never, never, never, ever wait for someone to be ready again. Never.






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