Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
Some men will never change
I started seeing this guy and everything was going great, as it does at the start. His parents never showed any affection toward each other and he was an only child. There was a lot of underlying conflict in his parents relationship.They never laughed or showed any emotion toward each other or to him the entire time I was with him (nearly 2 years) My family always had fun and functioned as a unit, my brother being a few years younger meant we fought like cat and dog when we were younger but as we grew into adults, me being 20 and him 17, we grew closer and no longer had fights. It was normal to me to laugh and spend quality time with the people closest to me. However, his childhood had been lonely and deprived of basic emotional responses to anything, he didn't learn other people had feelings and opinions and he didn't seem to understand the concept of togetherness and fun in general. Anyway, I stupidly agreed to get engaged a few months into the relationship, I was pressured because it was at the reception of my uncle's wedding and my entire family were watching, he got me up on stage to propose so I couldn't humiliate him and say no with 50 people staring! I suppose he saw how close my family were and wanted to be a part of it.
A few months later his best friend split up with his girlfriend, they were living together with a mortgage and had a dog so it must have been a big decision for them to end it. As soon as he heard his friend say this on the phone his face dropped. I asked what had happened and his face basically said "if they can't make it then what chance do we have?" I was gobsmacked. They were 2 different people in a totally separate relationship. From that point he stopped being a great boyfriend, he just didn't seem to care and it all fell apart. When we argued he'd say "whats the point, we'll only split up eventually" he just didn't want to talk or decide things as a couple because he was adamant it would all end.
Anyway, whenever he wanted anything as a child he wasn't allowed it because he couldn't pay for it himself. When he got older and got a job he realised he could buy anything he wanted and when he wanted something he would buy it no matter the cost. He saw it as a monthly payment on a credit card rather than the full amount he would have to pay back. When we met he had a few credit card debts, I had some money my parents saved for me since I was born and I agreed to loan it to him to pay off his debts. Made more sense to owe it me interest free than owe the bank and end up paying them twice what he borrowed. I got a cashiers cheque from the bank, the money was removed from my account and this little piece of paper was basically worth £1400! I gave it him and expected him to pay it off. A few weeks later I found it in the glovebox of his car, when asked he said he'd seen something else he wanted to buy so was going to spend it on that instead!! I snatched it out the glovebox and put it in my bag. No way was that going to happen!! I paid it back into my account no problem and he said sorry for not doing what he said he'd do by paying off his debts.
He continued to spend on his credit cards and maxed them out, he wasn't happy with his car so he bought another on finance before selling the old one. He then decided to keep the old one (which also had a finance loan on it) so he was paying out more money each month and didn't seem to care! Then his friend was selling his sports car, he wanted it. BAD! He took out another loan to buy it from his friend so he now had 3 cars. 2 on finance and 1 with a bank loan. Total car debt including interest equalled roughly £30,000 plus his credit cards another £10,000. £40,000!!
We split up after nearly 2 years and he bought a house soon after with his new girlfriend with a 100% mortgage, so total debt including house equalled about £110,000!
Seems he only wanted to stay with me for my family's money but we split before he could really get me in trouble. He wanted me to sign as guarantor on his car loans and some of his new loans from the bank! No way was I being responsible for more than £40,000 of his debts!
Funnily enough he dumped me when I stopped lending him money and paying for our nights out. He had to start paying and he didn't like that at all.
Reason for dumping me was that he was bored with our relationship, funny that because after he bought his house and subsequently split with the new girl he wanted me to get back with him and move straight in! Why would you want to live with someone "boring"
I now have a new man in my life, 2 years after splitting up I met the perfect man and have been with him for nearly 5 years, 2.5 of those years living together in our own house and couldn't be happier! God knows where my ex is and I don't care, he'll never change and I just feel sorry for him now :)
5.00 out of 5 slimes
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