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A Love Quote
We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -
He preferred fantasy over real

He and I met at a birthday party. Neither of us knew the guy whose birthday it was. I was invited by some friends, and he was attending with fellow members of a car club that he belongs to. I was standing outside the home of the birthday guy waiting for my friends to arrive when he drove by in his Corvette. Our eyes met and I thought, wow he's handsome. Then I thought, let me go inside--I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm standing here trying to get noticed as these guys drove by in their flashy cars. Just as I started to go inside my friends arrived, so I waited for them another minute and we went inside. About two or three hours passed before I saw the guy in the Corvette again. He asked me to dance, I said no. He took the rejection well and started to converse with me. We talked for about an hour. My friends were ready to leave by this time so I asked him to dance. We danced one dance and then I said goodbye. I told him that I was going to a popular karaoke spot in the area and he asked me if he could follow me there. I sang a couple of my usual melodies, and I could tell by the look in his face that he was blown away. That was the start of our romance. Initially, he told me that he was divorced. Three months later I discovered he was not. He apologized for lying and offered the excuse that he thought I would not have wanted to see him again if he had told me that he had just recently separated from his wife of 8 years. He was right! I never would have dated someone who was married, separated or not. Anyway, I checked the court's records, and he had in fact recently filed a divorce petition. Needlesstosay, our relationship was flawed from the start, but I stayed in it because I was exceedingly attracted to him. During our year long courtship I spent a lot of time contemplating his odd and certainly unfamiliar behavior. He couldn't kiss, his love making was very cold and detached. He didn't initiate a touch, a stroke, a warm embrace, nothing. As it turned out, I discovered that this man had an internet porn addiction. I couldn't fathom this "problem" he had; what rational man would replace real live sexual intimacy with a beautiful women who had no sexual hang-ups, who is in shape and very attractive (I happen to be a tall, green-eyed ex-model)? After finding the evidence of his problem on his home computer, I confronted him about it and once again he admitted that he had an addiction to pornography (which he had been keeping secret--another lie!). He continued with his addiction and insisted that he was working on it. He also kept the fact that he was on anti-depression medication a secret as well. Our time together almost always resulted in my watching and listening to him sleep. I finally called it off. If you feel alone in a relationship, then why stay, right? The thing that gets me the most is he's the one who is scorned. He has threatened to sue me for the few gifts he bought me during our relationship. He's resorted to calling names telling me I'm the one who is crazy and emotionaly ill. He even suggested that I seek psychological counseling. Unbelievable!

Women and men, I have a word of advice for you. Do yourself a favor, find out upfront if the man or woman you're dating has a porn addiction. My research into this problem has disclosed that there are at least 5 million suffers in the U.S. Most porn addicts are men, but women are afflicted as well. If you have a gut feeling that something isn't quite right, if your partner is detached and not affectionate. If he/she has a roving eye and shows very little interest in sex, investigate. Check his/her computer's history and deleted files. This addiction is as bad as any other addiction, and it will destroy the relationship. Don't put yourself through the pain and heartache that I went through. Peace!






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4.30 out of 5 slimes

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