Tales of the Ex @ RomanceClass -|
we were together only a month and a half but it was the first and only time i have ever felt close to being in love. he met my family and i went away for the weekend to meet his he took me to an amazing restaurant for our one month anniversary and on the ferry ride back we lay in each others arms both reading our books and i remember looking up at him and not being able to smile at the thought of how i could ever be so lucky.
A few days later he told me he kissed someone else, at least he was the one who told me i suppose. i broke up with him straight away, i wanted him to fight for me but he never bothered. i still went round to his flat because i had become friends with his flatmates and eventually we became friends again because it is easier then being mad at someone and by then i was no longer mad.
then we were friends with benefits i felt like that was better then nothing at all but i always wanted more then when i told him that he said he couldnt offer me everything i needed and deserved (a faithful man?) so of course i stopped the friends with benefits thing.
i have dated people since then, perfectly nice guys but then i think of j and how he made me feel and whoever i am seeing will never compare. when i see j my heart beats rapidly and i forget to breathe no other guy has ever made me feel that way.
perhaps i just want him to want me since i was never good enough perhaps its not him i need but what i need is someone who gives me that feeling.
or perhaps i will forever be thinking of him, always at the back of my mind, always at the front of my heart
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