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The first day i met her was wonderfull. It was at this place in long island

The first day i met her was wonderfull. It was at this place in long island where people could go camping. I found out that she went to the same school i did . I also found out other things .That she was my best friends cousin and that she had my fourth grade teacher. After camping i felt this strange feeling before and it wasnt similar like the other feelings before that i had for girls. whenever she would talk to me would make me feel real special. Because of her going to school everyday wouldnt make things boring. whenever i would see her in the hall would just give me energy to go on. Than i realized that this was elemantary and that i wouldnt be able to see her. That made me think more. how was i going to see her. idont know where she lives or where she hangs out. so i tried to keep in touch with her alot.i got her number and called her with my other friends on the other line so she wouldnt notice i like her. She was only a year older than me so i think i would see her next year in jr high shcool. i was right . while waiting each and everyday i had a crush on another girl who turned out to be best friend. i guess with her on my mind i had no idea about thinking of the girl who i had a crush on before. than that girl whom i just had a crush on moved to a different state. than i went to jr high school. i tottally forgot that the girl who i had a crush on before was here. than 1 day when i was i the hall i saw her. she was in the class next to mine and i found out the homeroom teacher i had now was hers. than i suddenly had a crush on her again. it was amazing........it was lke i liked her even more than i use too.but like always i was too shy. so i just hanged around her like i always use to do. i made up lies so it would make her care for me more. it worked but i want her to love me the fair way which is for who i am. i tried to make a few changes in my style but it just doesnt seem to work. the other day she mentioned that this guy was cute and all i could do was support her with that. so tried making him look bad but that didnt work niether.
just hearing her talk about him hurt me so much. i made so many changes in my life so far for just 1 girl and still nothing. i dream and think about her almost 24/7. now i just think that its all just a waste. if she just doesnt like me i can accept that. i can accept that if she just want s to accept me as a brother or a cousin or even just as a best freind ill accept that. all i noe is that if she doesnt want me ill support her with anything and just be there for her as a freind just to let her know i care. i might only be 13 and i probably dont know much about love but i do know for a fact that theres only going to be 1 girl you meet that makes u real special and gives you that feeling that no other girl did.


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