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it was "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT".
I met him 13 years ago(almost 14). Just 2 months after the end of my marriage. My 2 children and I were temporarily living with my sis and her roommate. The roommate had company coming from out-of-town.I wanted to make sure I looked my best for that all-important first impression. When the guests arrived I was putting on the finishing touches of my make-up. I had barely turned the corner at the end of the hallway when I saw him. It was as if my heart had skipped a beat and a small gasp escaped me. For lack of a more intensely descriptive phrase, it was "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT". Even though I did not recognize or acknowledge it as such.
I walked further into the livingroom to introduce myself to the 3 of them, the roommates bf, HIM, and a female. He rose to shake my hand. With perfect synchronicity, our eyes met, hands touched, and we said our names. From my toes to the tips of every hair on my head, it was like a low voltage electricity was buzzing through my body. I do not know how long we held each others gaze, but, I was aware that is was longer than it should have been. Especially, with his "gf" there. I broke away first.
The next 4-5 hours was a pleasant torture. I felt like I had never felt beore in my life, it was wonderful. However, I made a concious effort to not look his way, if possible. And when I did, he was looking at me, with an undescribable intense look in his eyes. I kept eye contact to a minimal as I just knew everyone could tell how I was feeling about him, especiallly "her". A week or two later we were dating. The female he was with, was his former "gf"(current roommate). Every weekend he would come to see me, always with a dozen fresh roses. This continues for approximately 6 months. His visits and calls dropped to almos nonexist, when he showed up at my door. He made an announcement, that explained his declining interest. Even though we loved each other and my 2 children called him "Dad", I understood what he had to do. I changed the subject so that parting would not be so awkard. A few minutes later, he was gone and I was crying from the heartache.
BUT, WAIT, the is not yet over. Remember,that was 13-14 years ago?
About 2 years later, I was pulling out of the car wash. And there he was pulling in. Just like the first time, my heart skipped a beat and took my breath away. But I had to conceal it this time. I had gotten married and had given birth to a set of twin girls, who just so happen to be with me at the carwash. The way I felt inside was just like I had remebered it being last time we were together. Our encounter was a brief one and he gave me his pager number. I enjoyed visiting with him that summer. And once again, he was gone from my life.
A few years later, we ran into each other again, at a store. We do not live in a big city, so it was hard for me to understand why I did not see him more often than I did. This time, I was "single" again. But as "luck", "fate", or "destiny " would have it, HE WAS MARRIED. The pattern of running into each other remained the same, I remained single, and he remained married. UNTIL....
...November 2005 to June 2006. I seemed to run into him at the same store, almost once a week. Around the middle of june 2006, my sister ran into him at the store. They had quite a long visit/conversation. It consisted of only him talking and it wall all about me. Except, for the part where he informed sis that he was now divorced. She failed to give him my phone number, as she did not know how I currently felt about him. A week had gone by and no word from him. I had just started making plans to move out of this town and out-of-state. If there was anything to be had with him, I could not afford for him to end up waiting until the 11th hour to get in touch with me. So, I enlisted my sis to locate his phone number. I would call him.
It took one more week to find out what his number was. On Friday afternoon, June 30, 2006, I made contact with him and we talked for approximately 2 hours. Just before we hung up, we agreed to stay in touch and get together soon for lunch or dinner. That evening as I stood outside, talking to my neighbor about going to the movies, my phone rang. If was "HIM". He asked if he could stop by and see me. Of course, I said that would be fine. He informed me that he was almost there and it would only be about 1-2 min. When I hung up the phone, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl with a "crush" on a boy. When he pulled up to the curb, I was excitedly nervous.While he walked toward(only half way between his vehicle and myself. He said,"I know you are going to let me have a hug, after all this time." I obliged. His embrace gives me a sense of safety, security, completeness, oneness, peacefulness, and that I can finally exhale and let go,it calms me.He ended up being the one to go to the movies with me that night. I felt thrilled the entire time we spent together that night. That was almost 3 months ago. We see and/or talk each day. Prior to meeting for the third time, we each had made the decision, that our next serious relationship was going to have a solid friendship foundation. Neither one of us is interestd in running off to say "I DO" within the next 6 months. Despite wanting to have that friendship foundation, we each know we are going to be together until the end of our days of breathing. I KNOW that he is the one I am supposed to be with. I cannot put into words the entirety of all that I feel for him and how "I KNOW", but it fulfills me, mind, body and soul, it is like a
"welcome home" party and someone saying,"It is so good to have you back. It's been a long time and you've been missed so much."
If I was told I would have give up my life in order to save his, I would die, so that he could live. I love him just that much.
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