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When I frist met him, I was 13. Fresh in 6th grade. He was in 8th. I wanna say that it was love at first sight, but that would be a lie. I hated him, I hated his blond hair, I hated his Silver-blue eyes, I hated his plaid jacket, But the thing I hated about him most was when he would look at me, my stomech fliped. He lived right around the block from me, so when I was out hanging with me friends, he would ride by on his bike or something. It just so happend that his best friend was my best friend, so I saw alot of him. Well, one day that year, OUR best friend decided to play Truth-Or-Dare. We played, and (Lets call him Dean) Dean and I were pretty much haveing a Dare fight. He would do some stupid stunt, then look at me and smile. So then I would chosse dare every time to prove it wasnt that hard to act stupid. Back and forth we went, only chooseing dare, it was pretty funny. Then OUR frind had to use the bathroom, so that left Dean and I out under the stars in my front yard...By oursevles. He randomly surprized me though. He said truth. Not dare. Then added " Your the most annoying girl I have ever met, but I'v liked you from the start." Of corse I just looked at him like he was on fire. But I somehow responed "I like you too." That night we started going out. And when I got inside I couldn't help but jump up and down and scream " YES " My life was the bomb-diggity. Everything was perfect for and entire YEAR. Then....He moved to a different state. We broke up. Long distance thing you know. My life didn't seem so good, I almost gave into ending it a few times. Thats when I realised that I loved him. Truly loved him. I loved his blond hair that fell around his face, I loved his sliver-blue eyes that sparkled when he looked at me, I loved his plaid jacket, his smell, his walk, his imperfetions, his flaws, I loved all of him, just the way he was. But I was to late. He was gone.
Then I got a second chance when I hit 8th grade, he was in 10th. His mom still lived in the same house, his dad lived in another state, thats who he went to live with. On the summers though, he started comeing down to stay with his mom. Sometimes he would come over, and we would get close again, like nothing happend. The last week of summer, we got REALY close, and I told him I loved him. He said "I love you too." Our faces an inch away, our breath mingleing in between us. It was like pure bliss. Perfect. He stole me heart that night when he said "If your willing to wait for me, I'll wait for you. Will you go out with me?" Of corse I said yes, knowing that I wont see him till the next summer. But the only thought running through me was, -He's worth it.- SO I did. We were doing the lond distance thing, We'd call all the time, laugh, joke, make kissing noises, send pictures. And I never looked at another boy like that, didn't even think about it. No Lie. Not once. All I thought was -Summer- I was truly happy. Then, he started talking about how his family were being unfair to him, and how much he hated his life. I was sad for him, wishing I could just drive up there and save him somehow. Then out of nowhere, he sends my a text saying that he didn't think it was going to work out. That night was the first time I cryed. Liturally. I never cry, but now I know that it's posible. I mean, I cryed for hours, then sent "...Okay." We still talked, and he made it clear that he still loved me, but that he didn't want to hurt me.Every summer we would get together, then he'd leave and we would break up. Every time I would tell him that I loved him. And everytime he would say the same. The sparkle in his eyes would prove his point. He truly did love me. But it never worked out, no matter how much we loved eachother, it just couldn't work out. And I would cry myself to sleep every night.
It's now two years later, I'm a sophmore, he's a senior. And the worst part is.... He's here. At my school, on my bus, in that same house we used as a romantic getaway. I see him every day, I see how Happy he is with his friends. He dosn't talk to me though,but I see the girl on his arm, that sparkle in his eyes when he looks at her, And I know that he loves her. I can't help but think -That's me sparkle- and it breaks my heart every time we catch eachothers eyes and see the sadness hiden there. Guilt. We'll never work out, I know that. But you can't controle what the heart wants, what it craves.
I can't seem to look at another guy without his face poping up in my head. I can't even begin to like anyone eles. It's stupid, childish. But he's still there, stealing my breath, my soul, my heart, my life. And I can't help but cry myself to sleep at night, hopeing his life is perfect. That's all I want. If only he would care.
- Forgotten soul
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