Love Stories @ RomanceClass -|
I was alone, scared, and oh so broken
I met this guy, first day of school. Big whoop. We sat next to each other in one class. Another big whoop, who cares right?
It was my first year at a new school. I was alone, scared, and oh so broken. Nobody was my friend and it felt like nobody even knew I existed. Then he came along, for better purposes lets call him James and me Jane. I sat down next to James in that fateful hour and had no idea what I was getting myself into. Into a world that would forever be different, even if it took almost 5 months to get there.
That first day we barely said 10 words to each other and then soon after out seats got changed and we were moved to different seats with different people, him with a cute girl who obviously was crushing on him and me right in front of him with a boy who didn't see anything but his eyelids. Now me and this guy became friends, not James, the sleepy kid. It seemed like after that first week I was eating lunch by myself everyday. Then the next week. But on a Friday, when I was almost shattered, James did something that flipped my world upside down. He sat with me. HE talked with me. Smiled. Made me laugh. Asked me questions. "How's class going?" "Do you like the school."
I cried that night because I found one person who gave a damn about my life. Even if only for one lunch period.
Needles to say, being a seventeen year old girl, never been kissed, never having a boyfriend, and being approached by this amazingly gorgeous boy who seemed to have every girl in his life hanging on every word he said. Looks like he got another one. That's right, I fell into LIKE, maybe not love, but he definitely had my attention.
After that first Friday I practically ran to lunch hoping with my entire heart that he would sit with me again. Monday? No. Tuesday? No. Wednesday and Thursday? No...
Friday? My salvation. He sat with me again and I knew in my heart of hearts that I wanted to spend the rest of my day just watching him talk, seeing him smile. I was hooked, line and sinker.
Then tragedy struck, almost like a bad play. I made some girlfriends. I started having lunch in another part of the school completely away from him and all his amazingness. I missed him everyday and I spent each lunch Monday through Thursday with my girls then on Friday, with some sort of hope in my heart, maybe, just maybe I would have lunch with him. I was successful about 50% of the time.
More tragedy struck. FML, right? He got sick, and I mean sick sick, or maybe not, I didn't know. All I knew is that he wasn't in school for a while and it felt like someone had ripped my heart out and was keeping it hostage somewhere else. My heart was with him, I knew that. In his absence I fell in love with another guy. AKA, my best friend. You know, the only person from my old school who bothered to talk to me anymore. The guy I would spend hours on the phone with. The one who always made me smile and always made me laugh. Yeah, my best friend. What an idiot I was to think he would ever return my love. What an idiot I was indeed.
So, somewhere along the line James started coming back to school, I took my heart back and gave it to my best friend to care for, even if he didn't know, yet.
Then one weekend, in a jealous and angry attempt to win my best friends heart from his new girl friend I spilled all my heart and soul to him via a social network. Dumbest mistake ever. "I just never felt that spark with you"
I hate those words and unfortunately they are branded into my heart and my memory. In those moments of pain and anguish was when I contacted James, via the SAME social network that had just ripped my heart out. Wouldn't you believe my jubilation when James returned my messages, words strewn together with nice gestures and smiley faces. Soon after I had moved on past my now ex-best friend I took my heart back and put in back together. It wasn't beautiful, it wasn't whole but it was healed enough to realize that by losing him I could move past and onto James.
That's exactly what I did. Soon, I was leaving my school, on the way to James house and with these butterflies that wouldn't go away. You see, the thing was that James had transfered schools and I convinced him to let me come hang out with him, just to catch up. It was in those quiet moments, when he was getting me snacks, and laughing at my jokes. When I was lying on his bed, watching a movie while he sat in a separate seat, that I fell in love again. Only, this time something was different. Something felt different and tasted different.
After that one day together I wanted more, so much more. I talked to him EVERYDAY via out social network. I was entranced by his pictures and transfixed with every letter he took the time to write to me. I guess somewhere between the bootleg movies at his house and the smiley faces, I fell completely and 100% in love.
D@mn, I had it bad.
Then, I asked him for a part two in our bootleg, ice cream, and fun times party. He gave me, what I like to call, The Best Ultimatum Ever.
"Yeah, we can hang out, but you have to come to church with me"
Wait, what? Church? God? Jesus? Praying?
Was I in over my head? Would I be only visiting this place of God JUST to get close to this guy I liked. Needless to say I went. I was curious and excited. What would I find in these walls? I found God, and now I live my life for him but I'm not taking away from the romance, oh no, never taking away from that. God may be my #1 now, but James, James is the closest 2nd I've ever seen.
So, here I was, praising God in all His Glory, while simultaneously falling even more in love with a guy who was not only amazing beautiful on the outside, but as it were, on the inside, even more beautiful. A gentleman. A true friend.
This simple crush had turned in to a love, an addiction, and obsession. Here I am now, I see him every week. Sundays for Youth Class, Mondays for Prayer, Tuesday for his basketball games, Wednesday fro family service, and Thursdays for his other game.
On those disgusting Fridays and Saturdays when I can't see him I am a wreck. Cooped up in my room, talking to no one and listening to songs that remind me of him. Sooner or later I'll tell him. Everything he has done and all the ways he saved me, my life, my soul, and my heart.
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