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I saw him as a friend
I met my boyfriend 5 years ago.. in my secondary school it was typical for girls to date guys and 'break up' with them for nothing, as having a boyfriend was just a status.. back then it meant nothing to me. I was careless and care free about peoples feelings. I even april fooled a guy in dating him and breaking up with him (at least we're good friends now). I met my boyfriend in the playground.. me and my friends wanted to escape from gym class next so we tried to climb out of the fence.. it was cute because he kept staring at me, and i just thought 'weirdo'. Later on it was my friend, introduced me to him. He wasnt my type, so i assumed, and we got talking. I saw him as a friend nothing more, and it was then he told me he saw me more as a girlfriend than a friend, so it led to us dating.. i broke up with him after only a month though. We stopped being friends, but a year later decided we'll talk again, and date again and typically break up again. I know your thinking what a cow i am. But after that i gave up on guys completely. Until a year later, i fell in love with him.. this time it was serious. I didn't tell him as i didnt want our typical breakup to happen, and so left my feelings bottled up inside.. until i told my friend who was trying to get me to date this horrible guy, she encouraged me to tell him, little did i know she wasnt really a friend.. but i told him i remember the day.. it was on the staircase at school.. funnily i didnt know he had a girlfriend already.. and so he just said okay. it was quite a shock to me as i was used to the typical situation we would get ourselves in. I told him january.. but before that kept in contact, i went camping the october before, and called him crying as everything was ruined, he was really sweet about it kept me company, he was a great friend. Anyways, we had our febuary break, and when i came back, my friend told me he broke up with his girlfriend, my though 'yay, he must of broke up with her for me' but no he didnt. As he was so cold and distant for a while. That killed me inside, and slowly i fell for him deeper and deeper. Then in May was when i actually confessed to this teacher, he was really cool actually, and this was on a trip away, residential one. And when we came back, he made me sit next to my boyfriend, and it was hard you know, but then i was okay, and one day it wasnt okay, it was too much.. How can i fall so deep, that it hurt just to sit next to him? That was when i fell into tears, and told him that it hurts so much that i can't sit next to him knowing that he doesnt feel the same.. selfish i know. June it was two weeks before my birthday when he invited me round his house to just play games and be friends again.. I remember this so clearly.. i wasnt going to go.. but thought i should make the effort to be friends. And when i arrived, we just talked, and it seemed like old times again, and then i had this massive headache and was laying down on his shoulder.. then he put me down on his pillow he went to get me water.. came back and it was a blur but he kissed me, and he left me confused for two weeks.. where was this going? why did he kiss me? but on my birthday he invited me round to talk again.. and i was in shock when he asked me to be his girlfriend.. For the first 6 months i was scared itll just be another typical us story and we'll break up.. but now 3 years later, we're stronger than ever, been through so much.. different colleges now. But im happier than i've ever been, and thats what love can do.. it'll bring you through a whirlwind and somehow drop you when you least expect, but you just be consistent, and keep trying. Everyone has happiness awaiting them out there..
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