Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -|
The next month was terrible. My friends made fun of me, and apparently find humor in my problem
There is this girl that I met in my Senior year at High School. She was a Freshmen at the time. We sat next to each other in art class. At the beginning of the year, I had a little crush on her, although I didn't really know her that well. I liked her smile, she had a great personallity, and of course she was attractive. We laughed about a lot of things and seemed to get a long. Towards the end of the year, the senior prom was coming up and I wanted to ask her. I thought about a lot of things before I decided rather or not I would acturally ask her. I thought about what her parents might say, (her being 3 years younger than me and all) I also thought about what she and her friends would say. She was really shy, and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable or anything. One day on my way out of the school, I ran into her and asked if she wanted my company as she walked home. She said sure, and we both talked on the way. I decided not to ask her than - even though it was the perfect oppurtunity - because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable during our walk. The rest of the year came and gone, and I failed to ask her. The last day of school - the last period - she was in the art room working on a project. I decided to stay and hang out with her. During our conversation, she had asked me if I was going to the senior prom. I told her that I wasn't, but I had wished I told her that she was the one I wanted to ask, but didn't. I felt upset for a week, but as graulation came, I remembered that she had told me she was playing in the band, so at least I knew that i'd see her again. I did see her, but didn't get a chance to say anything to her. Later that night, after the graulation ceremony, I began to write a story. (I love writing) I decided that I would write the story of how I was too nervous to ask that girl to the prom, and how it was hard to express my feelings to her. Well, throughout the rest of the summer, I managed to almost complete the story, or book, up to graulation day. (There was still a few chapters i'd have to go back and finish/edit) I managed to get her Screen Name, and we talked once. She seemed happy to hear from me. When the last day of summer came, and my summer classes had ended, I got home from hanging out with a couple of High School friends. When I signed online and checked my email, there was a letter from a radio station. I had emailed the radio station about a week earlier to ask them if they could play a song for this girl and tell her how much I care about her. They said it would play the next night. When the next night came, I listened in and heard the dedication. I assumed that she hadn't heard it, since she wouldn't have even known to listen in on that station. The next day, I IMed a girl I knew who was a senior at the High School. I asked her if she could tell that girl that she heard the dedication, and asked her that she didn't say that I told her to. The following day she told me that she did as I asked, and the girl blushed. The following Friday I went to the High School to hang out with friends during their lunch period in the cafeteria. To my surprise the girl was there, and I had wanted to go up and say something, but I didn't. Later that afternoon, the girl IMed me, and during the conversation I told her that I wanted to say hi to her when I visited. She told me that I should have said hi, and she than told me to come visit again. I told her I would on a Friday, since I didn't have classes on Fridays. Two weeks later, I went back up to the High School. I went over to my friends to say hi, and than I immediately went over to the girl, who had a few friends with her. I said hi, and than asked her how her year was going. She said good, and than her friend told her that she had to talk to her, and they both got up and left. Of course my friends laughed at that, but I just felt like an idiot. I had know idea why she would just leave when she told me to come visit, so I decided to email her a couple of weeks later. I didn't ask her why she left, I just asked her about her year and told her how mine was going. Than before I ended it, I apologized for the dedication, since I assumed thats why she had left. The next day when I got home from class, I opened my email and saw that there was an email from my High School Princible. My heart skipped a million beats. When I finally opened it, it said to come down, since he needed to duscuss something with me. I went to the school - panicking the whole way - hoping that it had nothing to do with that girl, when I finally came face to face with him. He told me that it was about her, and my heart sank. He told me to leave the girl a lone, and he also told me to stop calling her, and stop emailing her. I don't know why he said that to me, since I never called her, and I only emailed her once. I also didn't understand, since she told me to come visit. I left the High School, feeling like complete garbage, wanting to cry my eyes out. The next month was terrible. My friends would make fun of me, and apparently find humor in my problem. They aren't true friends, because everyday they would make me feel like I was lower than dirt. Now I don't know what to do with the book that I had written. My friends - the jerks that they are - of course told me to burn it, and they told me that it was stupid to write and they also would tell me that the girl hated me. I sometimes thought about deleting/burning the book, but I also thought about trying to get it published. I don't know what to do. All I can say to her is that I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR MAKING THE DEDICATION, AND I'M SORRY IF I SCARED YOU. I JUST WISH YOU KNEW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME, AND HOW MUCH I'M HURTING FROM ALL OF THIS!
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