Saying Sorry @ RomanceClass -|
i used to show rebellious reactions when i feel he doesn't care for me..he already warned me for the 4th times for me,not to repeat what i'm doing coz he doesn't like it & that actions of mine really pushing him away...after that 4th incident,we talked.& i told him i will try my best not to repeat it again...& deep inside i really realized what i did & i wanted to submit to him...however,i felt he still don't forget what i did.i felt he wanted me to change but on his part,he won't make extra effort to make things better for us, that is just my presumption as he is a very very busy businessman...so i repeat again what he doesn't like ...after a heavy argument, we again cleared the matter. he also realized his faults...he said he likes me for being myself. i've a strong personality, unpredictable & so on....but most of the time he said i'm charming, aggressive,passionate (i slept with him but i've never gave in to him totally,just intimate kissing..& little petting..but i dont let him touch me totally,just me touching him :-) wise move? lol!i'm actually a modern conservative...he told me how my actions break him apart..he said as if i'm killing him softly,etc,etc. & because he can't handle it anymore as he is emotionally weak & the situation already affects his health & also his business, he wanted to stop seeing each other in the meantime...& i dont want it to happen...i know he don't want it too...so i told him, i will not anymore argue with you & i will try to understand you more...i will set aside my pride for you because i care for you...since you said, i hurt you so much by my actions,i will never do that again....i will try to make things better & happier for us instead of reacting..that's because you are more important to me than my pride...while i'm talking to him, he placed his hands on my knees..as if he is trying to say, please hang on....then i went near him inside the car & slightly massage his chest & back of his neck..(inspite of our misunderstanding)when he sort of resist (he is still showing he is still angry at me)i said,i observed that you had difficulty in breathing a while ago..& i really feel bad about it...then i hug him slightly.i told him i want to continue..lets have fun & enjoy!..then i told him..i will not call you for a while...just call me anytime when you wanted to eat my favorite shueblig sausage with you to our favorite restaurant...but please don't take too long to call me...he nod..i smiled & left him in the car....i really feel that i loved him so much & i really care for him...but i also don't want him to take me for granted..i want to feel very special...& inspite of his culture & character to be tough & really don't show affection & don't talk sweetly to women..i can feel i am special to him by being with me usually for more than 5hours just to settle misunderstanding inspite of his very hectic schedule....i like him because he is hardworking, tough,inspite of so many business problems he encounters he still can find time to help other people & even entertain our misunderstanding...he is also very analytical & flexible & intelligent...when he faced a very difficult times in his business,he asked me to help him,& i helped him by giving him the strength that he needs that time,i supported him & really helped him the way i can..but all decisions i still leave for him to do..he told me it was the first time he showed weakness especially to a woman & to think its about his business...but u know what my problem is? i'm already committed to somebody who also love me very much..we cool off because i wanted to be with the one i really like..but i can't leave this guy whom i'm engaged for 12years (wholesome relationship)he is very faithful,responsible, handsome, intelligent & kind & really a family man...anyone will fall for him..but i don't feel the excitement & happiness that i felt when i'm with my 2nd boyfriend..everytime i think of my first boyfriend i felt pity for him if i will tell him that i don't love him anymore...for 12years that we're together i didn't feel the way i feel for my 2nd boyfriend...i'm always happy & excited..we are both independent & have sense of humor & adventurous...while my 1st bofriend, i always feel bored...he has no sense of humor, so straight...i'm really confused..i sticked with my 1st boyfriend for 12 years because i'm a one man woman,conservative & don't want to have many relationships...for 12 years i havent sleep with my 1st boyfriend..it could be one reason why he still love me inspite of the fact that i'mwith another man...he still hoped to get me back...aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!don't know what to do!!!!
1.45 out of 5 hearts
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