My Girl Seems to be Straying

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Visitor's Question:
how do i really know if my girlfriend really loves me like she says she does?
we have been together for 8 months and everything was great until the summer came. I only got to see her in school. and i didn't see her once this whole summmer, and now that school is back in she acts like she loves me but then i people tell me stuff like she had sex with someother guy. and i don't belive it and then i ask her about it then shes all like trying to find some words to say like "i didn't do anything with anyone i promise you that i didnt."

She used to be all in love with me and email me everyday then all the sudden the emails stoped comming. and just the other day i read a note that her friend wrote her and was like ZZZ wants to meet you and i asked her who that was and she said it was her friend's boyfriend and i was like then why does he want to meet you for and she was like cause my friend is always talking about me.

i was like so why does he want to meet you for and then she was like i don't no.

is she cheating on me does she like me anymore? can i do anything to make are relationship work and last?




Our Suggestion:
Well first off, relationships go through several stages -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/stages.asp

It sounds like you guys are through the hot-and-heavy first love stage and are into a more settled stage. Which is quite good, and it means you don't need to email each other every 10 seconds. So I wouldn't necessarily worry about that.

It does sound like you're a bit jealous and worried about her, and that she's always having to defend what she's doing. If we assume that she is completely loyal to you, your constant harassing her and assuming she IS cheating could easily drive her crazy and have her break up with you so she doesn't have to deal with it any more. So I would be very cautious about that.

People rarely start to stray or leave if they're happy. So I would focus on making the relationship a happy one. Find out what she'd like to do and find ways to get you guys out to the movies or trail rides or walks or whatever that she would enjoy. Talk to her about how much you enjoy her and look forward to seeing her. Write her poems, learn more about her favorite bands, share your own interests and loves.

It might be that she isn't feeling really happy and is starting to wonder if someone somewhere else can make her happier. So work with her to find what she's unhappy about and find ways to soothe those situations. That's what being a good boyfriend is all about, helping to keep your partner happy. Of course she should do her part too, working to make you happy and always being true and honest with you.

--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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