He Doesn't Want to Commit

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Visitor's Question:
I've been in a relationship with a guy for a year now and we were good friends before we got together. He's from a little town and a real gentleman. He has much respect for me and my feels, but we all make mistakes sometimes. In our relationship i would stay at his house a lot of times and he was wanting me to move in when i graduate. There was fighting about stupid things and then we would get over them.

Well currently we are seeing each other but not boyfriend and girlfriend. I know there are no other women because in between me and work he doesn't have time for them. He wont say i love you as much as he used to. sometimes he will just look at me and say it, or say it under his breath. What does that mean? and why doesn't he want to be in a commited relationship?

I asked him what the difference was us seeing each other and being together. He said fighting every day. So far it's worked we don't fight. I want him back though. He's 21 and i know he wants to have fun, he doesn't like smoky places and likes to drink every once in awhile. Never been to a strip club. What is going through his head?

Our Suggestion:
If you guys were fighting all the time then it is very clear. That is a REALLY unhealthy relationship. He doesn't want to be in that! Why would anyone willingly go into a relationship that they knew was bad for them?

The only way this can ever work is for you two to figure out why you were fighting and make a serious effort to get that basic issue resolved. People don't fight for no reason. They fight because something is wrong. Instead of ignoring this problem and just wanting to date him again - which would cause everything to start up again.

Sit down with him. Have a serious talk. Talk about - honestly openly and fully - exactly what you felt was wrong before. Obviously it wasn't a perfect relationship if you were fighting. Unless you both can be truly honest about this, it won't work going forward.

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