I don't want to keep pushing it

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Visitor's Question:
okay, so i've become really close with this guy.. but he's not my boyfriend, he's my friend with "benefits." i've done a lot of things with him that i have never done before, not sex.. but things like oral. i don't mind, i enjoy it but then i wonder if i should do things like this if he's not my boyfriend.. so i confronted him about it, and asked if he wanted to become exclusive boyfriend girlfriend.. but he says that he's not ready for a girlfriend right now. i care about him so much, and i know he cares a lot about me too. it's just so difficult to feel that way about someone and not be something more to them. i don't want to stop what we are doing, but is there a way that i will be able to tell when he's ready to move on? i don't want to keep pushing it. becdause it might push him away.. i just cant stand the thought of never being together. is there anything i can do that might change his mind? thanks so much for you help!




Our Suggestion:
You are in between friend and girlfriend with him and that's uncomfortable for you.

Unfortunately there is no good way to influence his opinion or behavior, especially because you are afraid of driving him away.

You've already told him you are uncomfortable but he isn't willing to listen. So there isn't much more you can do other than start to withdraw physical activities with him... but that might drive him away.

I'm afraid you are in a mess and only time will tell what is going to happen.

Good luck! George



--Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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