Day 14 / Forgiveness and Siblings
I suppose they call it “sibling rivalry” for a reason :). I have five siblings – a full sister, a half sister, a half brother, a step sister, and a step brother. The relationship with all of them has changed over the years. We’re all adults now and I think we’re in a good place now. I wish I could see them all more frequently but we’re fairly scattered. Facebook is good for keeping up with each other.
I think there are challenges with siblings, when kids, which are found in few other relationships. The most important people in the universe – the parents – are being competed for. And, being immature kids, things can be said and done that are hurtful. Those words and actions can be remembered for decades.
I think that’s a key part of forgiveness – to realize we all make mistakes, especially when we’re young, and that it’s time to look forward. Dwelling on past situations just doesn’t help anything. I’m sure I probably said things to my siblings when I was young that hurt them, and I don’t even remember it. But maybe they do and it’s “sounded in their ears” all these years. That would be a great shame.
I still remember an incident where my sister hand-made an item for my Mom and brought it to her. My mom thought it was a piece of junk my sister had wasted money on at a flea market and started berating the item. I had to leap in and stop my mother, and explain that my sister had made it for her. My mom back-tracked, but of course the damage was done. The incident still rings in my mind, how hurt my sister was, how upset I was by it, but it was just a momentary mistake by my mom and nobody else might even remember it.
Certainly I should learn from this – that there’s no reason to denigrate something like that. One never knows the full history, and are the negative statements worth it? But I should learn from it and also release the emotions. It’s not worth damaging current health and tying up current emotions over something decades old. I should accept it was a past mistake, I’ve learned something valuable, and I focus forward.
