Hi yehonathan & welcome.
Without knowing you & the situation, it's difficult to comment. You don't give any idea of your ages, for example, or how long you have been together.
I'm sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend broke up and hope that you will be able to sort things out very soon.
It sounds like you need to sort yourself out, though, as well as your relationship (
'i`m blocked and cant get out of my own heaviness'). I suggest getting some counselling, or at least having a good talk to someone who will listen and whom you can trust ~ a parent, perhaps.
If the girl still cares about you, but won't talk with you, then maybe a letter will help ~ explaining what happened and your concerns, etc.
Difficult times come along and somehow we all have to deal with them. They often make us stronger or teach us lessons in how to deal with situations. Look on the bright side ~ there is usually one there, if you look hard enough ~ and keep positive. That might just help in itself.
Good luck!
