The problem is that unless the cheating partner makes a commitment (and changes), it probably will happen again - and probably is continuing to happen even then.
Most of the character deficiency lies within the cheater - that he or she could not understand the importance (to the partner & to self) of commitment and loyalty AND that he or she could not see that there must be problems within the marriage itself that need resolving.
Some of the cheaters (not all) think that they "really" love their spouses/signifcant others, and that the sexual encounters don't really affect their relationships. Then, when the situation blows up (as it usually does), they "feel" heartbroken and adrift, and say they realize how important was the relationship with the partner and the family that may have come from that relationship. But you have to wonder if the person just liked the "normalcy" of having a "family" but didn't truly know what love was.
Those of us who do know wouldn't want to taint that, no matter how tempting. Since I've met Marge, I can and do have friends who are women. They know that I am not "looking" for something else.
