Grumpy - don't be shy about sharing your feelings! We are here to help out. The first step is to talk about things, and it's awesome that you are doing that!
I understand completely the fear of making yourself weak by making yourself vulnerable to someone. This isn't just about the opposite sex. It can be anybody. There is an element of risk involved. If you give someone your emotional access, they can then choose to hurt you. Still, having people who care about you can be a HUGE help in achieving your goals and dreams. So it is a trade-off. If your desire is to achieve great career goals, having people who stand behind you and help you can be wonderful.
If you want to be a vet for example, you could have a partner who helps you study, who cheers you up when you're frustrated, and who drives around to clinics with you. Having a supportive partner can be amazing.
So yes you see the negative sides - but also keep in mind the positive sides. A partner should NEVER be a hindrance or a liability. They should be an enthusiastic supporter of your dreams.
