RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating How do i handle this?

lol i totally agree with white pegasus

actually yes there is a drastic age difference but i never really thought that mattered much. my mom yesterday said that if my brother was going to that extent, which he never has before then brian must have said something to him that made him that cautious about us being together at anytime. im 17 and he is 26. im sure that is going to change your opinion quite a bit, it does most, but it doesnt matter to me, because i love him, but love does sometimes block out issues.

The age difference won't be so big when you are older, but I can understand your brother being concerned now ~ because 17 is still young. What is the age of majority where you live?

Your brother knows things about this boy that you don't ~ possibly about past behaviour with other girls for example.

Twenty-six-year-old men sometimes want something different from a relationship than do 17-year-old girls.

I'd be cautious if I were your Mum. Your brother may see a different side to him from the one you & your Mum see. It might be fine when you are older and wiser, but your brother may just think that you are not mature or experienced enough to deal with this man just yet.

try a three way honest chat. talk to your brother, ask why he has such an issue with this. also talk to his friend and see if your brother has given him a reason to stay away, or a reason your brother is so protective.
I've had a friend date someone double her age, the way i figure it is each to his/her own. as long as the Guy is respectful of your wishes age should matter to much. (although i think double your age is a little gross personally. like dating your own father *shudders*).
It'll all work out right in the end. sometime you just have to sit back and see where the path of life leads.

I would be concerned too if I were your older brother.
17 and 26 is a big difference.
Relationships move alot more quickly at age 26 and I just don't see the need for it at age 17. Also, he lives 6 hours away, and long distance relationships are very difficult and often not based in the same reality as living in the same town.
There are so many experiences you need to go through in life - Have you even graduated high school yet? .. That I don't really know how a 26 year old could fully relate to a 17 year old -

These are all my gut concerns - if I were your big brother.
That being said I knew a 19 year old navy guy who fell in love with a 13 year old girl - they had no steady "relationship" but stayed in touch over the years, and by the time the young girl was in her mid twenties they got married - I think she was 25 and he was 31, which is quite reasonable. The age thing melts away as you get older. that was over 10 years ago and they now have 3 kids ... so it's all possible... but it is against the odds. Anyways, if it is meant to work out, then you guys can stay in touch and see how it plays out...
But I don't blame your brother ... just being honest :-)

jeeze! so much advice at once. ok pdm, my mom thinks that my brother knows something about Brian that i dont know as well. great advice. i will be cautious. White Pegasus-where the path of life leads...ill do what i can and then sit back and wait. great! Victor- maybe my brother does have reason to be concerned but when i am older i will be able to decide for myself, the older i get the easier it will be. And just F.Y.I, you havent actually met me and if you did you wouldnt think i was 17. i am very intelligent and mature for my age. thank you all for your advice. what do you each individually think about the idea of me telling Brian straight up my feelings on the situation.

I think that you need to acknowledge that, no matter how mature or intelligent you may be, or may feel that you are, you are still a teenager and he is still a man. The age gap isn't huge, but the experience gap may be. Be wary.

Should you tell him your feelings? I don't know. Maybe. Then see how he reacts. Would he be willing to wait until you are old enough for an adult relationship? Would he respect your comparative youth?

It's difficult to advise, when you don't know the people involved.

Good luck.

thank you, of course everything everyone has said is right. im backing off on it and just letting life take its course. if it happpens it happens.

Good luck.

Tell your brother about your fellings, tell him that he is not helping you, rather hurting you. Tell him and he may change his feelings.