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#173701 04/24/07 10:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2
J
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J
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2
hey its me jim again. well its been about a month since my last post and you can say that im still getting better. but i still miss this girl alot and i still want to be with her. for those of you who havent read my last post im only 17 and i broke up with my GF about a 2 months ago...i still love her alot i just want to know how to get her to want to take to me again and not hate me...im always thinking about this girl she is the love of my life im starting to think that it was meant to be i just messed it all up

jimwalsh #173794 04/25/07 02:11 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,347
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Jim
Are you really hopeless or just saying that. Are you feeling better or not really. I am concerned about you.
Who are you able to talk to about how you are feeling... besides this forum?
Relationships are hard, and at 17 it can seem like the end of the world - but you are just getting started - there are going to be so many opportunities to meet so many fantastic women. Its just that in the beginning, breakups can feel really devastating.
If you want to see if there is a chance with your recent GF then just ask her - call her or write her a note. But if she says she is not interested or is not ready to reconsider - then I don't want you to think that life is over. If you need to talk to somebody you can use this forum or even PM me. Do you have a good relationship with your parents or a teacher or some friends who can lend an ear? You are not alone in the feelings you are going through and there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Victor

victor #173859 04/25/07 07:51 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
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Hello Jim

As Victor says, you are not alone in the way that you feel ~ just looking at some of the other posts will show you that.

It is a good idea to talk about this ~ or anything else which bothers you ~ with someone you trust. Is there a school counsellor or a teacher you get on well with, perhaps? Maybe an older brother or parent?

Being a teenager is a wonderful but difficult time. Emotions are heightened for various reasons. This means that the good times seem extra good and the bad times may seem really terrible. Bear in mind that this is temporary. Things will improve. Honestly! Those of us who have left our teens behind can remember them as bitter-sweet days.

There are very few people who meet 'the one' at 16 or 17, but it can happen. I don't know why you and your girlfriend broke up. Maybe an argument or a misunderstanding, perhaps. It might be worth you sending her a note, as Victor suggested. That might sort things out. Or it might just be that she is too young for a long-term relationship. At 16, that would be reasonable, I think.

Try to get involved in other things ~ sport, chess, football, whatever interests you. You may win her back or you may find someone else. Either way, in about ten years time, you will look back on this time with a smile. By then, you may be married to someone else and have a few kids. When your son is in your present position, you will be able to give him all this kind of advice, but he may not believe you, because breaking up with a first love is difficult. Time heals! It really does.

If you are able, try writing a poem about this. That can be very cathartic.

What does the song say? First love is the sweetest? Yes, and it will always stay with you, but it is just one part of life's rich tapestry.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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