RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating I will be single forever and have to buy many cats

I think that some men are intimidated by confident women who don't seem to need a man in order to have a successful life.

Guys do you agree with PDM are you intimidated, I think of guys as tough, only after you know what, and not afraid of anything, NOT ALL GUYS just to be clear.

But do you ever notice,a woman sees a handsome guy and thinks ..so out of my league..but the ugliest guy would ask out a supermodel what is with that? I see it all the time.

Honest answer is yes - I think many men would never marry a woman if they thought the woman was smarter than they were. It's sort of like women who would never date a man shorter than she is. Same superficial hangup.

As for the supermodel dating the dork - I'll bet its a rich dork. Have you heard of the speed dating service that only allows beautiful women and rich men? Same concept. Apparently when people are really superficial, men are attracted to looks and women are attracted to money. It's a nice commentary on today's society.

Now the good news. YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY A GUY WHO IS AFRAID OF A WOMAN'S INTELLIGENCE! So while it's true you will rule out a sizeable segment of the male population, you'll be left with the cream of the crop, IMHO. There are men who would ONLY marry a woman who they felt was their intellectual equal (or superior). And there are men who find intelligence and originality not only attractive but a necessity in a relationship. But don't go looking for men in places where you are likely to find the men who are intimidated or turned off by intelligence - i.e. bars and superficial dating scenes. That's why I suggest doing something you like, because chances are high you will meet others (men AND women) who will be interested in you because of who you are and what you are into. Broadening your social circle is a good thing. I just wonder if maybe you have been looking in the wrong places and been disappointed because of that.

Definitley the wrong places but I just don't know where to go anymore.

BTW the following are not stereotypes this is true experiences from the last year.
I like art so I met a man at the gallery who started talking to me, he was gay.
I thought I'd brave it alone at a coffee shop (it had books plan B) one guy chatted me up about how he has all these swords, cos he is a witch (or Wiccan) and showed me his symbolic tattoos. (I still see him often around town nice enough person but not for me).
I took Spanish at the college for interest after I went to the Dominican, so did a whole lot of single girls and retired couples.
I love live music so I went to check out some of the local talent...evidently drummers are like moth to a flame but I can't date a musician..on the road.

Sigh, ok so how broad of a circle do i need. I am doing this all wrong. I am starting to laugh a little now when i read my own posts, IMO I am being honest, yet it's a little pathetic but kinda like I have no luck either. Sigh I'm sure something will happen eventually, prob. when it's not on my mind, that's always when someone pops up outta nowhere.

That's it!

Absolutely!

you will find the right person when you least expect it, its always the way

never go looking just let it happen

I know all this rationally but emotionally I feel like a teen being peer pressured at my age there is still a pressure on women. And ergo Life is not fair. I get it. Thanks for the advice. I will try not to whine.
Really I have lots of thing to accomplish that I don't need a man for , so I will just get on with those.

Peer Pressure is supposed to be reserved for teens only grr. Tell me it stops in my 40's.

It doesnt stop in your 40's, becouse someone always is in the mood to set the bar higher, and make you feel like a less than. But, if you allow yourself to feel like a less than becouse of your own personal issues then it works...however, if you dont allow it than it really doesnt have an effect on you~ What are you willing to allow?

Are you willing to accept what your father said? That its your responsiblilty to care for them as they age becouse your not married with children? I personally dont think this is your responsibility....and any parent wouldnt speak this to their child if they wanted pure happyness for them.

If you truly want to meet a mate, someone to spend your life with, you have to stop waiting for it just to happen...MOHO~
You need to look at how your placing yourself, and how your going to improve your current situation.

Steps you can take....and I know this takes some balls.
Get yourself calling cards, the old fashioned type with you name, Email and Number that you feel comfortable giving out, pass them to friends for blind dates and always have a few on you~ When you meet a guy in the coffee line, or perhaps at the market....make simple small talk and hand them a card and suggest a coffee if they are interested. The balls on their plate then, and if they are interested they will call you.

Men that are comfortable with themselves like women who challange them, and its nothing to be ashamed of...being smart. Nor is there anything wrong with being average looking, Im average....Heck 90 % of us are just normal looking without the airbrushing and sillyness that goes along with super models...there is nothing wrong with it. Unfortunatly, Many of us Women buy into the fact that we have to spend zillions on clothes, shoes and makeup to be desirable. This couldnt be further than the truth, I feel just as sexy in sweats and flip flops as I do in my very best little black dress that makes heads turn. Its really all about how you carry yourself and not trying to hard.

My heart goes out to you, feeling like there is a time line you must follow to please your parents, The only timeline is the one you set for yourself. I hope you find that wonderful man that makes your days feel warm and safe...and Im pleased to see that you just dont settle for anything becouse its something....thats no good and so many do. Hold out for what in your heart feels right, and it will all fall into place.

( Thinking of you, and sending a special prayer that you find that one soon)