RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating HELP ME PLEASE I'M SO UPSET!!!

ok--so all those little stereotypes about how women are so confusing and don't know what they want...WRONG!!! i know exactly what i want: i want man. but how am i supposed to get man when they're so #%#@#%!!!#$@#%#~#!@%@%@#%&&*&&*&!Q@#@*!# confusing?!?!?!?! ok, so here's my situation: now i'll admit, i feel kind of silly posting this on a forum, but what can i say--i'm hopeless...so there's this guy who i know through Facebook (which is sort of like myspace). he goes to the same college as me, and i've seen him around on campus and i'd been admiring him from afar for a long time. now, i'm a really shy person and i hold the belief that guys should make the first move, but i stifled that this time and sent him a message saying "what's up?" on Facebook. he answered, and we'd been having a friendly, kind of meaningless conversation for a while and i was starting to get frustrated. so finally, with my mom holding my hand (like i said, i'm hopeless), i asked him out for coffee when we both get back on campus and he said YES!!! so after that, we'd been having a really flirty, nice and sweet conversation online, and i decided that i was time for me to give him my number. and this is where it all fell down. not only hasn't he called me, but he also has not messaged me on Facebook since. i haven't sent him another message, but i'm so confused. my mom said that he's given me my answer, but i don't believe that--i had a really good gut feeling about this guy and everyone who's seen the conversation has said it's obvious that he really likes me...i'm sooo confused. why does this always happen to me??? i'm a nice person, i love animals and children, i'm passionate, and the guy said "you make me laugh." so why do all men hate me? i don't know if i'm pretty, but i'm not heinous...ARRRGGGHHHH!!! i don't want to give up on him--any advice...anyone???? why do men do this??? men: RESPOND!!! why do ya'll treat me like this?? ugh--sorry this is so long, but please help me...i don't know what to do anymore...

mayeb he hasn't logged on to facebook. give him a few days (how many days has it been????) and then... Poke him. I poke lots of people. But it might remind him you're still there. Just give him a little while. Guys don't log on everyday (I do!) so just wait a few...

nah--i checked (cuz i'm a stalker lol ) and he's been online recently...it's going on 2 weeks since i last sent him a message >sob< and still no response...mens are sooo misterisu

i think he might be shy too about u. he's probably thinking about it. guys do it all the time, they're such chickens.. i got 3 of them... i think u should just first of all CALM DOWN.. its already honey, we're here for u. next, just dont let him know ur worried about it. because u dont wanna seem desperate, not like u are! and thirdly, spy on him. see if he really blew u off or not, make sure he's not with another girl. ask other friends to spy on him for u. i hope it all works out! ur a wonderful person, and if he doesnt see that, he's not worth it, trust me. =)

Poke him... do ittt!! LOL

I'm sorry but guys are really difficult!

and you can change like your quotes or something, maybe delete one or add a new one...

that way... your name will show up on his news feeds (if you guys are friends, which I'm assuming you are) and it'll remind him you exist!! :-D

this is the way I stalk and remind without bothering...

or you can leave a wall post saying something like ...
"we go back to school in __ days/weeks. i can't believe summer's ending already."

I really do not know what to say to help. Guys are very confusing. I do agree there. I am also very shy at first and I still don't get my boyfriend at times. Mom doesn't get my Step Father at times and they have been married for over 16 years. Women never understand men, and men think they know women.
I would send him a message like college girl said. If he responsed that's good, if not I'm really sorry... Just think there is always someone else who will be better for you. Relationships are funny. The best ones happen when you least expect it. I hope things work out for you. I know it can be frustrating playing the waiting game. I would send him a message.

"spy on him"... since it seems to only be girls who are responding, I can say with some certainty that it's stuff like that that drives men crazy and makes it near impossible for them to trust women. And no, most men don't even think they understand women--they may say so to look "cool" or something, but they're confused as everybody else unless they're gay. (Sorry, I don't mean to attack you or anything.. I just disagree with the idea.)

Well, Lora, put yourself in his shoes. You have some girl whom you've started to get to know online, met in person, you think she might be kind of cool, and then all of a sudden (maybe in his view) she gives you her number. I would guess you scared him off. Though you might not like the sound of it, what may work is to apologize for being so upfront (or something, something you-ish that fits the situation better) and then maybe that way he'll at least start talking to you again.

I agree ~ men & women don't really understand each other.

My guess:

He quite likes you.
You like him.

You give him your number.

He thinks ~
What should I say? What should I do? What does she expect?
(Have you read the problems on here from young men asking what to say & how to behave?!?!)

So he frets and thinks, and then he thinks he's left it too late. Maybe he thinks that he has offended you.

You aren't contacting him any more and he doesn't know how to start up a conversation again. Etc, etc.

If he hadn't been friendly in the first place, I'd say he wasn't interested, but, since he was, I'd say that he might just be confused about what to do and what you want.

It's also possible, I suppose, that he's wondering if you just give out your number to boys on a regular basis???

I think that, once again, you have to make the move. Maybe, as Sal says, explain or apologise, or anything to get the conversation flowing naturally again.

He may be shy ~ and really nice ~ and worth a little extra time and work.

Good luck!

I would get on Facebook and send him a message something like "Hey JERK, I am the bomb and you screwed up, you gonna use that number or use it for a gum wrapper??

MEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BTW: That is you on that pic? You are beautiful. Seriously you may want to make a small gesture to see if maybe he is shy, just a "You ready for classes yet" something small, if no reply then just except he was not the one and go find some super sexy ,smart, loving man that you deserve. Could be hes in a relationship already, did you ask that?

SAL, we don't mean "spy" Just check the facts, I am sure men do this too, in fact I know they do.

Kiwi&Budgie: Thank You!!!

lol, i like that--gum wrapper..teehee :P but i think ya'll are right--i scared him don't really know how, because i'm the meekest person ever when it comes to men, but i'll take it. i guess i'll have to find a witty way of apologizing for being forward (apologies are not my forte)--UGH!!! men are so DUMB!!! (i'm sure you're an exception, sal... ) aren't people SUPPOESED to give each other their numbers?!?!? and it's not like i go dropping my number on every guy i meet--we've been talking for a while and i just now gave him my number!!! grrrrrr...and do you know how hard that was for me to do??? as i already said, i'm REALLY shy, and men's stupidity doesn't help a lick! i feel like men and women always play games with each other when it comes to these things...well, i hate games! i'd rather people be straight with each other--if you like me you like me; if you don't you don't...either way, i don't like wasted time...grrrrrrrr

heh, I too am female. It just happens that 95% of everybody I've ever hung around has been male, so I get the wonderful opportunity of listening to them gripe about how confusing females are.

I don't think some young women realise how hard it can be for some young men to deal with girls. Unfortunately there can be a lot of bravado on the part of some, and this can make it difficult for the quieter ones.

lol whoops--sorry ...i knew you sounded to intelligent to be a man lol--jk

hey, i know most of u guys are like ancient old, but do u watch zoey 101? its a pretty mature show, and it really explains guy's feelings, and y they all are pretty much if not all CHICKENS! u'd think the guy would ask the girl out all ready, but like 100 episodes go by, and he still doesnt do it, and in the end, decides against it cuz he doesnt want to ruin their friendship.. lol. guys are just like that.. but not my brothers.. they're just hopelessly idiots..

Guys are strange.

Sal I really ment it as a joke when I said "Men think they know women" Sorry I work with a bunch of guys. Your right they say that to look cool. In the end they are always asking me for advice on what to do.

guys arent strange.. they're HOT! lol jk jk

For that matter, I don't even understand females.

oh my gosh--i sent him the message (jaja i'm so girly)...this is what i said:

"hey there--why so silent? i hope i didn't scare you by giving you my #...i told you i'm only a firecracker on wednesdays and saturdays "

maybe he'll talk to me now?!?!?!

Good move.. Just be honest and ask , like sorry did the # thing make things akward that wasn't my intention and get lines of communication open.Good Luck.

OLD? ANCIENT OLD? wow....I am hurt. I think we are all of different ages, I am 45, but I was once your age. Never heard of Zoey. Either way most guys are goof balls at any age.

I think you did the right thing sending him another message, the kind of message you sent.

It does sound like you scared him - it's amazing how easily guys can get spooked. Some will run from girls they really like. (Sometimes they're afraid the girl isn't serious, and sometimes they're afraid that she is. It's maddening.)

Or - and I hope it's not the case - it's possible that he has a girlfriend and is so dense that it didn't occur to him coffee might be a pre-date. It happens.

But whatever happens, as long as you don't play games with him, you can hold your head up high. There's nothing wrong with you, and if he isn't ready for you, it's more his loss than yours.

rofl.. thats my way of saying, ur older than me, and so probably dont watch nick or Disney like i do =) i call my 25 year old cousin an old lady.. lol

so so so Lora.. any news??!

seriously lora.. we all wanna know more about the juicy gossip! =)

lol so here's how stupid i am: when i quoted what i was going to say to him in my earlier post today, i forgot to actually send it to him...so i just sent it to him a little while ago...so, naturally, no news yet jajaja i'm such an air head! :P

lol its ok, we can wait a day... or two? lol newayz, we all love u lora =) lol


bwehehe i love to laugh lol

Just wait. Give him time.

Why in the world do Guys always have to ask Girls out. I dont get it.If the girl makes the first move then I think she should ask him out. And the other way around.

I know my sis ask guys out.

Its 2007 what was 40 years ago where guys asked girls out is not the same anymore.

I am a guy and if I was him I would be doing the same thing. That is moving way to fast for me.

Just give him time. You cant get made at him. You made the first move. And it does not matter how you look. It matters about the inside.



Good Luck!

Melissa-I am a guy and I am shy to girls because the turn me down so many times. I stoped asking them out because of it. Guys are shy because they dont want to get hurt. It seems like he barley knows you. Why dont you give him a call and start the conv. The same thing is happening to me. I girl called me and me talked. I did not call her back because I did not knwo what to say. So she called me back 2 weeks later and aked why I did not call. And then thats how it all started.

Just give it time. I know why mom knew my dad for 6 years before they got married. And 2 years before the became boy friend and girlfriend.

oo that's okay...

but i want news!! come on !! tell me tell me!

did you Poke him?

ooooo! no, i didn't poke him--i forgot! oopsies maybe i'll do it today, but i don't know, i don't want to seem annoying...hm...the games we play....

lol noel.. thats wat i mean about a chicken.. dont be afraid, if that girl turns u down, theres more! =) i dont know about other girls.. but to me if guys ask me out, i think its brave and very cute. i dont reject cuz i like the attention and the good things guys keep saying to me.. its so cute. and i really dont think its such a good idea for girls to ask guys out.. but if i did, i would try to first be friends with him, and if he seems interested in me, then ask him for a pizza or movie.. the giving out ur # is like step 4! i think lora shoulda waited. newayz i dont give my number anymore. just my email address. its more modern and i dont get grounded for it lol

I gave my friend who I like alot my number a while back.He didn't call me for 3 weeks!He would say "hi" to me at school and then walk on by."Look here,sonny!If you weren't gonna call me,then why did you accept my number??Are you chicken to call me you little wimp?!"He was shocked that I said that,and started calling me every single day!

age old saying women run after men until the men catch them.men are little little children;they try to are all worldly and mature but when it comes right down to it they like to be babyed and cuddled.most males find it diffulcunt to handle an intellegent female.they are frighten of them and don't let a women make more money then he does;some males really can't handle that.if you left notes for him a few times;then it time to step back and let him make the next move.some once said anything or anybody a men is truely interested in he will make time for and I have found this to be very true.if you hear from him great;if not move on,there are men out there who are looking for a women to help him reach the top.good luck

i give up...men hate me

he hasn't responded and i don't feel like he will--this always happens to me...things seem to be going good with a guy, and then just nothing happens--every single time. i'm 19 and i've only had 1 boyfriend, and he was an abusive bleep. i'll probably never understand why i have such bad luck with guys, but all i know is at the rate i'm going, i'm going to be a spinster and die alone...i have to go--i'm going to cry...

aww lora, dont cry! ur gonna make me cry! *cry* ur just 19, u have a long time. dont worry about it. if he's not the one, there's another one waiting.. u could always go to e harmony.com lol im just kidding. just dont worry about it. =)

he not worth wasting tears on.you deserve a loving caring man and he not fitting the bill.if for no other reason then to be nice he should have returned your messages.wait a minute he might be ill,if that the case then that's forgiveable and if that'not the case kick him to the curb what's that song your irreplaceable.

Lora ~ Don't worry. Mr right is just around the corner. You will find him whwn you least expect to. 19 is very, very young.

one thing lora, dont give up
and keep high self esteem
and make your life optimistic.

then maybe you will feel better and talk to him

yeah lora... do anything but feel sad =)

ok--so i'm done having my little temper tantrum...it's only been a day, so i haven't given him much of a chance to respond. and even if he doesn't end up responding, it just means he isn't worth my time in the first place. you guys are all right--it's just hard to remember these things when you're in the moment and feeling discouraged, you know? i know i shouldn't let men (or the lack thereof) to upset me so much, but they're just SO frustrating!!!

Lora if I could reach to NY I would smack you, I am 33 and single. Now pull yourself together girl, you're hot, he's not if he can't see that. I feel your pain but a month from now it won't be bothering you as much..I betcha a trip to Bermuda, (don't worry the forum members are buying depending on how the bet turns out!)

seriously.. this old lady up here said it.. lol jk jk =)

lol i don't feel young, i feel like an old cat lady but i think 33 is still young, so i guess i'm young by default, right? :P

men are still dumber than turkeys, though

lol

Not all of them.

Give him time. I hate it when a girl calls me2 2+ times a day. ( This has been happening for that past week).

Do you see him in school in all.

Also women like to move fast in the begining.

I like to move slow as a snail.

I am not a chicken I am just being cautious.

You can see I get numbers and letter mixeed up. The same with words.

ok, so here's an update: he still hasn't responded, but i stalked...cough, i mean checked....his profile and it says that he hasn't been on since the 8th, so i'm trying not to freak out. >sigh< maybe i'll just become a nun, but who knows? maybe even God won't return my phone calls...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

HE RESPONDED:

"lol na not ay all. That wuldn scurre me. I waz just facebook lazy. lol. How uve been?"

aiiieeeee!!! >dancing a jig<

ok--be cool: what took you so long, fool?

EEEKKKK! i'm soooo EXCITED!!! yupi yupi!!!

Great!

Good luck!

Do all "young" people write so weird? I can not decipher it. Is it a sign of intelligence or lack there of (no offense but I see most youngsters do this)? Am I missing something? If my hubby wrote to me like that i would wonder what was up. OK ....I am 45. BUT, so??

Please, explain. BTW: I am happy for you Lorax. LOL Guys are turkeys.

lol i'm young(ish) and i don't write like that...he normally doesn't either...i get the feeling that...erm...he was in a bit of a fog, if you know what i mean

oh, hahaaa OK

awww lora.. make him be normal!!! hahaa.. i hope you guys do meet for coffee and realizes just how amazing you are!!

lol wow, its good he relpied.. and about the short hand and slang.. people do it all the time cuz they're lazy.. like me! i always write slang n short hand.. u guys understand me dont u?

Yay, he's talking to you again!

And sure, we can understand, but it really does make a person seem less intelligent when they don't bother to type everything out. For instance, I don't see the reason for typing "2" instead of "to"--it's ONE extra character for somebody to type, yet it slows down everybody trying to read it (or at least me.)

I admit I'm a bit of a grammar freak, but then it's also something in which I take pride.


You should see the letters my 81 year old grandmother types. She can't use computers to save her life (my dad had to drive several states to set everything up for her,) but her typing is still perfect--I do wonder how much time she puts into it.

I think, in some situations, where all concerned are happy about it, it's Ok to use one's shared 'jargon', but on a forum like this, which is for all ages, backgrounds & nationalities, it's best to keep to 'real' language.

lol sal. how does it make u look dumb? i know how to spell out words, but its alot easier to shorted stuff, expecially when u text message. instead of writing because just write cuz.. hows thats so hard to understand? lol

Whoa... this is the first time I looked on this section. Lora - we're probably pretty close in age so I have some knowledge of guys at this age. From my experience... guys are totally oblivious in the beginning. Case in point...

I have always been considered the classy girl and so I never thought that I would be the one to not necessarily pursue, but to ask out on a first date, but I did that with my current boyfriend. It was funny because even though we were flirting and I completely showed interest, he didn't think I liked him!! I couldn't believe it. Well, after asking him out on our first date, he asked me out on our second and by my yes answer he could finally tell that I liked him... even though it seriously was completely obvious. That's just how some guys are at this age.

>sigh< ...they're hopeless--but we've restarted our converstaion...i'm happy...for now.... i'll post part of the converstaion later so you guys can help me analyze (i'm at work now, so i don't have access to facebook) i think he likes me, but i really just don't want to waste my time

Sounds great... any advice, feel free to ask. I had the college boyfriend, we broke up and then I met my current boyfriend doing a summer internship my junior year in college. We've been dating for 2 years now.

ok, so here's what's been going on--we'd gotten back into talking a little bit, and all was well. and then he did tht man thing--you know how they kind of test the water by confiding in you a little bit thus making themselves as vulnerable as they're willing to be with a girl that they barely know jsut to see how she reacts? (my mom's a psychologist--sometimes i cant help it ) well, yeah--he did that. he told me that he doesn't really mesh well with the people at columbia. so i waited for like a day (you know, keep him on the edge of his seat), and then responded with some sympathy and what i thought was a very sly, well-thought-out question: "what kind of people do you mesh with?" and, once again, its been like a week and he hasn't responded, the bleep. but i'm trying not to freak out--you see (i don't know if ya'll believe in this stuff, but i'm a bit of a hippie :P )--i'm a taurus, and he's a libra. and we're supposedly a good match, except that tauruses like order and assuredness, while libras are more carefree, which, when in some kind of relationship, can lead to be irritating to us tauruses. so, i think it's more his personality than the notion that he doesn't care or isn't interested. but ya'll tell me what you think--i really just don't have the energy anymore to be flipping out over these crazy mens.

you've got me stumped... maybe you guys should switch to IM or something instead of facebook.

Maybe he doesn't know what kind of people he meshes with and is trying to figure it out?

Lora:

Don't ever be affraid to lay your cards on the table with a man. If he's a man worth having, he will respect you for telling him the truth about how you feel.

yes i agree even though i might be too late on this topic how's it goin' now?