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I would think you would want to be married just for the protection it provides you (Like insurance, pensions health and children issues and I'm sure there are other things as well)
I don't understand why not if your in love enough to live together what is the deal that you don't want to be married.
I myself think that most guys think if they already have the girls living with them why bother with the rest. I think marriage actually protects women the most but I also feel it gives protection to a man as well. Just think what if you had no other family and you became ill do you want the state making decisions for you or someone you love doing it.
And yes I agree marriage does happen in the heart but its always nice to have that piece of paper for protection.
Another example what if your living with someone and say you buy lots of things together and set up a household and one of you decideds they don't like the other and starts cheating and wants out and tells you to get out but you can't have anything because I'm keeping it all. Well in our state its 50/50 so you would not be out on the streets with nothing. Just a little something to think about.
And yes I know when we are in love we think its forever and hopefully it will be but sadly that is not always the case.
Anyway these are just a few of my thoughts on the subject.



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PDM i assure you, its just the same here.






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Originally Posted By: pretty bird
I would think you would want to be married just for the protection it provides you (Like insurance, pensions health and children issues and I'm sure there are other things as well)
I don't understand why not if your in love enough to live together what is the deal that you don't want to be married.
I myself think that most guys think if they already have the girls living with them why bother with the rest. I think marriage actually protects women the most but I also feel it gives protection to a man as well. Just think what if you had no other family and you became ill do you want the state making decisions for you or someone you love doing it.
And yes I agree marriage does happen in the heart but its always nice to have that piece of paper for protection.
Another example what if your living with someone and say you buy lots of things together and set up a household and one of you decideds they don't like the other and starts cheating and wants out and tells you to get out but you can't have anything because I'm keeping it all. Well in our state its 50/50 so you would not be out on the streets with nothing. Just a little something to think about.
And yes I know when we are in love we think its forever and hopefully it will be but sadly that is not always the case.
Anyway these are just a few of my thoughts on the subject.


Exactly, many ppl get married for those reasons instead of only for love. Before it was oh i love you and i don't care about anything else i just want to be with you. now a days it's more of just going through the motions for legal protection.

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Just a question for thought if its just going through the motions why all the big wedding costing tons of dollars (which I think is a waste of money myself)
I would hope if I had to do it over I would be smart enough and elope and save all of that money.
I can't believe my ears when I see on tv how much some of these wedding cost. I could easily live on it for a year or more.
So I personally can't believe its just going thru the motions for everyone.
And yes I had a church wedding with dress bridesmaids and reception and no it did not cost an arm and leg back then however maybe it did to my parents. I do know to this day that my mom was mad at my dad as he played big shot and kept an open bar going all night long and they really socked it to them on the bar bill.
We also did not have a long time planning.
My husband was in the service and we got married on his first leave so we had just a few months to plan everything.
Have some good stories also on this which someday will post in funny stories.



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Like I said, the current generation (mine) has parents that believe strongly in Mariage still. By the time my boys get married there will probably be much more eloping. My fiance considered going to Vegas but decided no to due to family. We're still keeping it very low key but doing it mainly for kids. We want children together and I am NOT going through the legal crap if something happens to one of us.. That and we're sick and tired of being asked 'so when are you two getting married?' :P

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Both of my sons had smaller weddings as well. And I thought they were just find no one had to go broke and the weddings were very nice.

My older son they just had lots of hor du houres (don't know how to spell it to lazy to look it up) and a DJ which was one of their friends.
My younger son got married outside at a lodge in Upper Minnesota on Lake Superior. We stayed there for the week-end in a cottage which was beatiful right on the lake. They did all the table decorations she ordered her dress on line and they did cupcakes instead of a cake they also had tons of candy on the tables it was a sugar additics dream. They only had about 75 people or maybe a little less. We had a great time at each of their weddings you did not feel rushed or pressured or anything it was very relaxing. Their wedding was almost like a vacation with a few parties thrown in.



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That's like ours. Joe's parents have money and wanted a big affair but i guess you could consider mine from the other side of the tracks. So we're just doing it backyard style... I think the total on our guest list is 38 or so including kids. a friend of the family is letting us do it at their house in a back field filled with fruit trees and surrounded by old growth forest. after the formalities it's pretty much going to be a bbq... smile fancy white dress in the woods and buffalo wings, shall be interesting.

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When, and before, I married my husband, I wouldn't have dreamed of living together out of wedlock.

Last edited by PDM; 12/12/07 01:44 AM. Reason: typo

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And many still believe that. Same as no sex before marriage. I do think that couples should live together if only in a temp fashion at least to that they know that they wont kill eachother after a week.

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I'm not sure how I would feel if I was young and embarking on a relationship now. I think that I would still want the 'sense of stability' ~ I'm not sure what else to call it ~ that being married gives, but I don't know..


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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