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#235081 12/11/07 10:55 AM
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So I've been in a relationship with this guy for the past 2 1/2 years. Everything has always gone smoothly between us..at least until recently. I moved away to attend college and now we see each other once every two to three weeks. He has become very clingy and jealous, always questioning where I go and making a scandal every time I do something slightly out of the ordinary. I can't deny that I feel annoyed by this at times, especially since I've never given him any grounds to not trust me. He's my first boyfriend and I've started to feel as though I've missed out on the whole dating scene by staying with him for so long. I've developed a close friendship with another guy I met while at college, but lately it feels as though things are progressing into something more than a friendship. He's told me repeatedly that he likes me, and despite having turned him down I can't distance myself from him since I definitely have feelings for him too. Everyone that I've talked to has told me that perhaps taking a break from my boyfriend is what I need at this time, but I'm just not sure. I'm scared to do anything rash that might jeopardize our relations and hurt him beyond the point of no return. I don't even know how to bring the issue up to him since he remains oblivious to the whole situation..

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Originally Posted By: un4givenmistake
... I moved away to attend college and now we see each other once every two to three weeks. He has become very clingy and jealous

I think that this is understandable. He misses you and he knows that you are mixing with other lads.
Quote:
I can't deny that I feel annoyed by this at times, especially since I've never given him any grounds to not trust me.
Of course, it must be frustrating for you

Quote:
He's my first boyfriend and I've started to feel as though I've missed out on the whole dating scene by staying with him for so long.
So, while you have given him no reason to distrust you, he may well sense that you are beginning to have doubts about the relationship.
Quote:
I've developed a close friendship with another guy I met while at college, but lately it feels as though things are progressing into something more than a friendship. He's told me repeatedly that he likes me, and despite having turned him down I can't distance myself from him since I definitely have feelings for him too.

But you said that you had not given your boyfriend any reason not to trust you. Now you say that you have feelings for someone else. You may have turned him down, but you spend time with him, he pursues you, and you like him. He will pick up on this ~ as will your boyfriend.
Quote:
Everyone that I've talked to has told me that perhaps taking a break from my boyfriend is what I need at this time, but I'm just not sure.

Maybe.
Maybe best for him too.

Quote:
I'm scared to do anything rash that might jeopardize our relations and hurt him beyond the point of no return. I don't even know how to bring the issue up to him since he remains oblivious to the whole situation.

Or does he?

You have moved away from your boyfriend and are making new friends in college ~ including a boy, who wants to be more than friends and for whom you have feelings. You are now wondering whether you were right to just have that one boyfriend back home.

Your boyfriend has probably picked up on your doubts, and may even have guessed that there is another boy involved, so he has, naturally I would say, become 'clingy and jealous' and 'always questioning'.
Yes, he probably wants some answers ~ and an explanation for the change in you. As you said, you have kept him 'oblivious to the whole situation.

You don't want to 'jeopardize our relationship and hurt him beyond the point of no return' ~ but is this to protect him from hurt or to keep all your options open?
You can't string him along, keep him in the dark and then get annoyed with him when he responds ~ quite normally ~ to what is likely to be an obvious change in attitude from you.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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