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#250444 01/31/08 09:00 PM
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I know I won't get support and do not deserve it. But I cheated on my long term bf in a moment of weakness. And it was with someone he's friends with. I never cheated before and am totally not like this. Been with him three years and never even thought about cheating. I was just weak one time. Does he deserve to know? He would certainly break up with me. Or is there any I can forget about it, pretend it didnt happen and treat it like a one time thing and a learning experience.

There were some extenuating circumstances. We had gotten into a pretty big fight, I was feeling vulnerable and the guy seduced me. None of that makes it right. I still feel like a scanc. It was just a bad combination of things that led to it.

Zyger1500 #250445 01/31/08 09:07 PM
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Hello Zyger1500

There are two opinions on this sort of thing ~

1. Always be honest; tell him; hope he forgives you.

2. Why upset him; it was a once-only thing & you won't do it againm, so best forget it ever happened ~ for his sake as well as yours.

What is right for you two, I don't know.

Could you keep this to yourself?
Could the friend keep it to himself?
Could anyone else find out & tell your boyfriend?

I always tend to think that honesty is the best policy, but I know that, in circumstances like these, others might disagree.

Sorry not to be able to help any more than that.

And yes, it was the wrong thing to do, but remember, nobody's perfect.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
PDM #250584 02/01/08 02:27 AM
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First off your not engaged or married so I don't think it's as bad.
Second unless your pretty sure he is going to find out from either the other person or someone else I would say forget it and move on.
Third if you think he is going to find out then it would be better coming from you and hope he will stay with you if that's what you want.



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pretty bird #250597 02/01/08 03:40 AM
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I think I'm in the clear, if I can keep my mouth shut. The guy keeps begging me not to say anything. So I think it's safe with him. I just wonder if I owe him the truth. I wonder if I deserve to be in a relationship with him. It's going to be difficult to look him in the face. I haven't seen him yet. Been playing sick. Have to face him tomorrow though.

Zyger1500 #250700 02/01/08 07:47 AM
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You need to tell him. He'll find out eventually anyway & it will only make it worse later. The sooner you tell him the better. Make sure you talk about all of the reasons why it happened. He may need to learn to trust you again, but that's just a consequence you'll have to take. Sorry if it's not what you want to hear.

sep780 #250723 02/01/08 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted By: sep780
You need to tell him. He'll find out eventually anyway & it will only make it worse later. The sooner you tell him the better. Make sure you talk about all of the reasons why it happened. He may need to learn to trust you again, but that's just a consequence you'll have to take. Sorry if it's not what you want to hear.
I can't help but think that you may be right.

Welcome to the forum, sep780.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
PDM #252401 02/04/08 08:09 PM
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Personally I would want the truth from you not anyone else. It is going to be worse in the long run if he hears it from another party. If it is from you he may be able to get through it. If I heard that my bf/husband had cheated by someone else I would be so much madder.



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val313 #252421 02/04/08 09:28 PM
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tell him the truth it's better then getting married to him and having kids with him totally unaware of what his friend and gf did.

Mandy's mom #252437 02/04/08 10:04 PM
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Yet, I have heard that this is a selfish path ~ it gets the guilt off one's chest, but upsets the other person unnecessarily.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
PDM #252438 02/04/08 10:05 PM
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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