RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Cried to myself about it...

Ok, I know I just recently posted a happy topic but I really need help with this...

Yesterday I made a radom new friend. Only thing is...he's a guy. Met him at this shop where he works. He said hi, I said hi and a whole general conversation started. I can talk to anyone basically.

So yeah. I left the mall and started SMSing my boyfriend, like every night. When I told him I made a new friend, he kind of freaked. He didn't know what to feel. I knew he was angry with me.

What am I going to do? Is making a new friend such a big sin nowadays? Help me, please...

See also:

First Timer Emo Girl
http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=264447&fpart=1

Your boyfriend should not be angry with you, just because you talked to another boy.

However, a lot of boyfriends would feel concerned or threatened, perhaps.
He may feel jealous ~ worried that you will leave him for the other boy.

Anyway, it's understandable that he feels a little jealous ~ but of course you have the right to make new friends.

Explain to him that this is just someone whom you met and got on with, and not in any way a threat to your relationship.
(It isn't, is it?)

I understand how he feels, I really do. When we had our Sports Day earlier in the term (before he became my boyfriend, another friend of mine named Andrew used to hold me and such, but in a friendly manner. When he SMSed me, he said he was jealous of him. He has a history of a bit of jealousy.

I value my other guy friends, either as just friends or as brothers. Like my one friend named Matt. He stood by me when no one else did. This new friend of mine is cool and everything, but no one could take the place of my boyfriend, NO ONE. Maybe my boyfriend is also worried because he's 17 and I'm 15.

Is it against the law if I ought to hang out with my guy friends if my boyfriend isn't with me?

Hi Blood of Raven

I asked my daughter ~ almost 14 ~ to look at this as well.
Her concern was that your boyfriend is so much older than you. I'm not sure of the law there but, over here, 15 is still a minor and 19 is an adult.

I agree that this might be a worry to me, if I were your parent. I do think that you should tell your father about him. I know that you are concerned about stressing him, but I really do think that he would prefer to know.

Certainly you can make friends with anyone you wish and I know of no law on friendship. I don't know South Africa, but I cannot believe that girls, there, can only meet others if their boyfriends come along ~ though some boys might be wary and concerned about the safety of their girls ~ remember, there are boys who will take advantage of vulnerable young girls.

Please take care of yourself.

I've heard too many stories as to go and do anything that might not be good for me. Living in Cape Town, South Africa, is pretty dangerous. My city is notorious for rape and drugs, so I watch myself. One of my friends at school got raped so I'm extra careful.

Hey raven. This situation your in is something i struggle with every day, when my girlfriend, is talking to her guy friends. I don't want to lose so try to stay close, but i want the best for her, even allowing her to talk to her other guy friends. If your boy friend is getting mad over some guy you just talked to, something tells me, he's getting a little over protected. Now in your town, it's problably good that he is, but then again, he shouldn't get mad, maybe concerened for your saftey, as in South Africa, also in America, we got young girls get raped as well, and there's alot of guys at my school that would love to get a girl for the wrong reasons. Like butter them up with sweet comments, then when they are absoultly alone, BAM!!, the same girl is beaten down, and what ever sorts of crud, some perverted guy would do.

Anyway, you might wanna talk to your boyfriend let him know that this relationship can work, if he dosen't get mad over some alittle chat. PLz do be careful. where you are is dangurous, I'll be prayng for you. And talk to your dad. Yes, he's stressed, but deep down, he still loves you, and we will listen.

Like, he's really overprotective. My boyfriend doesn't understand that I'm not a baby! I can look out for myself, I know what's right and wrong and I'm not stupid enough to fall into a random guy's trap...not again.

Before, I used to give in to a boy, especially last year. See, I have this thing. Dunno what it's called but sometimes I fall into a state of being in a trance. It's happened more than once. I can't control it. It just happens randomly. Last year I was inlove with one of my best friends. We kissed and whatnot but I gave in too easly to him. It's like I couldn't say no.

I just don't want it to happen again. My bf has only been my bf for just under twenty days and he holds me quite intimately. I hang out after school and usually get changed into casual wear. When I'm with my bf, he sometimes puts his hands in the back pockets of my jeans, goes up the back or front of of my top and even bites me on my neck. I don't have a problem with it before he does it, just that when he does, I sometimes feel uncomfortable. You know, since I live in a dangerous city, the stories and pictures of girls being raped and stuff flash through my mind.

Sorry if I started rambling, but it just came out.

ok--someone's going to have to explain this to me: what is smsing???

anyways, you should be able to have guy friends. period. does he have girl friends? see, there's a difference between being protective and possessive.

protective might mean that he won't let you go out alone ever if you live in a dangerous area. your boyfriend is being possessive, and that's not cool.

if i were you, i would sit him down and have a nice little chat: tell him that you're his girlfriend, not his property, and that you should be able to have guy friends without him freaking out.

if he listens, that's great. but if he can't understand that, then run in the other direction--over-possessiveness is one of the most common forms of emotional abuse.

a good relationship shouldn't make you feel bad--you should be free to be who you are and be accepted anyway. lay it on the line for him--if he can't accept it, then maybe it's time to move on.

good luck!

oh--and if he does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, then you have the right to tell him to stop. if he doesn't listen, there's another red flag for you. you body belongs to you, and no one else.