RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Organizing and Cleaning Compromises & Wardrobe changes

Carl, are you saying you actually put the toilet seat back down!? Wow! I think my guys (hubby & 2 boys) should start taking lessons from you! Marge is one lucky lady! There's nothin worse than going to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, half asleep, and ahhhh! almost falling in. LOLS

Yeah. Well, first, Marge is very, very good to me. And I wouldn't want anything to mess that up. Second, Marge has a blood disorder called ITP (I talk about it on our Romance website). So I want to be helpful to her (and did even before ITP). Third, she informed me early in our relationship that were she to go in there from our bedroom (in the dark, with only night lights to guide) and plop down on a seatless bowl, there would be "hell" to pay. More likely, I'd be in the dog house. And we don't even have a dog.

But I was pretty well "trained" even before Marge and I met. She visited me in my apartment (to check on cleanliness and signs of other female influences or habitation) and I passed the test pretty well - except I didn't have up any Christmas decorations. But since then, Marge has decorated my life (as the Kenny Rogers (?) song says.

You and Marge are lucky to have found each other. Seems like you have a good, healthy marriage.
I also must be doing something right, because Mike and I have survived 35 years together. 3 kids, one daughter-in-law, a future son-in-law and the love of my life......my bird, BOOZE BOY

Yes, I am very impressed with that, Luv. I hope you don't mind my calling you that, since I don't know your name.

My first marriage went 21 years.

The name's Diane, my nickname is Lady Di.

Well, well, Lady. I'm even more impressed. I'd say your hubby is a lucky man.

On the subject of spouses and their doing what we'd like for them to do, my first wife was petite (and I'm a fairly short guy at 5'6", but I have never had the small guy syndrome of wanting to "make up" for it and being pugnacious) and we got along fairly well, I'd say.

We had the "normal" division of labor - that is to say the house and the kitchen were hers! I'd help when I could, but I'd never feel like it was appreciated or even wanted.

I can understand and even approve of the sentiment of couples working at their relationships and marriages - working at the "nuts and bolts" of the relationship and the respect of each other's integrity and individuality and the active (as a verb) loving one another, besides being "in" love. But I have to also honestly add:

When the couple has the spark of sexual desire and communicates well, and discovers how to please each other, and doesn't let a "routine" to develop, it is very special.

And I think that the guy is much more apt to think of romance on the spur of the moment, and not just on the special occasions.

And by thinking of romance, I mean picking up a rose bud, or a boquet, or some chocolate, or jewelry - not as a "peace" offering or "guilt" penance, but to say he loves you. And by "he" (because I am a heterosexual male) I don't mean to exclude the other pronoun that could be used.

Also, for the sake of any guys who might be reading, romance is not shown just by buying gifts. Sitting down with your lover, looking at her, talking to her, holding her hand are things that can speak of romance. Offering to cook a special meal (even one dish will do), giving a foot rub, a back rub (even if you forget what the purpose was as you go along). The specific things are endless, but the unifyig theme is this: you have to actually pay attention to your partner and show your partner you like being with her/him.

Well, I'll get down off my soapbox, now.

What got me started was the thought that my first wife of 21 years never bragged about me, or even thought of me as good looking. Marge talks about me with her fellow nurses, and I know she appreciates me. A guy wants to be loved, sure, but he also wants to be admired or appreciated.

I swear they all do it...

My boyfriend must have 60 pairs of socks and underwear from when he was single (he hated laundry, so he just bought more socks and underwear) I hate hate HATE when he wears holey socks and underwear but he wont let me throw them out. He says" In the winter I put the holey ones over top of the non holey ones and they keep me warm" and the boxers are sentimental to him. Its " No way! I got these when I went to MExico on vacation" He completely refuses to compromise, so I just stay out of that drawer now.

I love my husband dearly, but I hate it when I make him a special dinner and he calls me up at the last minute to tell me he has dinner plans at his office. Can anyone guess what he eats the next day?

Cold shoulder, Di?

Well, slowly Marge is changing me, Amaggiepie. Hi, by the way.

When I encounter one sock with a hole in the toe or heel, I throw it in the trash. And I will pick out a pair of colored socks when I wear regular trousers and regular shoes.

But I like the feel of crew socks (white). So, while I accept what Marge tells me that white cotton socks are for tennis shoes, only, it's hard to change. Where I live now in the country, mostly I wear jeans. And the shoes are more for the conditions than the occasion.

And I have shirts that I haven't worn in 5 years, or maybe even 10, but have special significance.

So, I guess we do have things in common.

I don't guess a wise man would notice things that irritate men about women, right?

Do WE irritate you?