RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up confusion

But people have to make their own decisions ~ and their own mistakes.

do you know of anyone who has been dead set on not returning but has returned to their ex? I'm hoping she will realise how much I meant to her over this Christmas period. I'm torn between making contact and getting reected or maintaining no contact with the chance of her moving on. I just hope our mutual friend can clear things up. one last question, Would there be anyway I could showcase my new qualities to my ex?

Hi Michael

I don't know anyone, but I'm sure that it happens.
Whether it is for the best, or not, is another matter.

I feel that if both people in a relationship are to be happy, then both people have to really want to be in that relationship. Otherwise you get two unhappy people, in a sad relationship, when, if they were free from it, they might each find their true soul-mate, who truly wants to be with them.

There is no point at all in trying to get someone back, who doesn't 100% want to be with you ~ because you just would not be happy, and neither would she.

Now, if it's just a case of sorting out one's life and one's feelings, and then, when sure, committing oneself to a good relationship, that is a different matter.

Also, as in a marriage, sometimes things go wrong because of stress or something else, and partners can either let it go, without a fight, or remember what they once had and try to re-kindle their love. That is worth doing, in my opinion.

The question is, in your case, which scenario is it?
Will things work themselves out, given a bit of time and breathing space?
Could you both benefit from relationship counselling?
Or was this a youthful romance, that has now drifted to a close?

I hope that things work out in your best interests.

hi PDM. My ex told her friend that she only had eyes for me before university and told her that she missed me after she left me so I don't know if its the family/university stress which is causing things. she said she felt bad leaving me here and that things were not working out as she wasn't going to be home most weekends. I really do feel like this relationship is worth saving and although I will not force anything i know in my heart that I can make this girl happy. It's simply a case of how to go about things, I think I can restore what we had. I still think she cares about me and that this can be sorted but if I come on too strong or seem needy then i may wreck what chance I have.

That does sound a bit more promising.
Only time will tell.

I gotta admit that I'm feeling extremly lonely right now, If I know my ex, and i think I do after 3+ years then she'll be feeling the same, to contact or not to contact that is the question. I just wish her friend would hurry and talk to her, patience is a virtue, I guess im just unsure if absence will make the heart grow fonder or her love will wax cold.

It must be very difficult for you ~ and I just don't know what the answer to your dilemma is

first id like to wish everyone all the best in this holiday season, i trust it is a happy one. Well I've been naughty...I broke no contact yesterday by sending a text. we had a nice light conversation and she said that she was goingto see me on tuesday but was worried that i didnt want to see her or not, i then suggested we go out tonight (yesterday) but she said "maybe before I go home, ive got another week left before i have to go home, ill text you and we can sort something". Is she interested? Is she just being a friend? Am i just being used to cover the lonelyness of christmas? who knows

Merry Christmas, Michael. Nothing wrong with "simply friendship." It can be quite special. Try it. You might like it. Friendship, which values the other as much as self, is a good way to learn how to be in a romantic relationship.

Hi thank you for the response:), do you mean see how it goes as friends, getting to know each other again (in a way) then possibly progressing? or just simply stay as friends?