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Joined: Jan 2009
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Yes I guess it’s the learning with who to be nice is the point here. The hard part for me sometimes is to realize when to put my brakes on before the situation starts to get on my nerves. I haven’t been firmed with her yet; however, she asked me for another favor again earlier today. She just wanted to stop by my house and ask me to download some lectures for her. I didn’t say straight out “no”, but simply asked her in a straight face “what lecture?” I guess she could tell obviously that my attitude with her has recently changed so she just said, “oh if you’re busy or anything then I’ll ask someone else”. And if she doesn’t get it & still asks me for the free rides, then I think I could use your little suggestion Coco’s mama. I hate that she thinks gas is free or something; especially most of us students don’t have that much extra anyways.

Last edited by winniee2009; 03/13/09 01:26 AM.
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Most people I know will offer to pay towards fuel, if the driver is going out of their way, or if it's a regular thing.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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I think CM and PDM have made good points. And this is a topic that affects a lot of us. We all would do good, IMO, to establish our limits and decide just what we'll agree to do, or perhaps even learn to trust our instincts, and refuse just simply because it is not something you'd want to do.


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You go girl!

Has she asked you to write her tests for her yet? Just Kidding.

You seem so nice, but not everyone is, and believe you me , even the savviest of people can be fooled. There are also nice people out there too so don't let this incident make you all jaded and bitter like moi lol.

I wish i could be of more help, but I don't really know the situation that well obviously, but you can be a nice person and still say no, it doesn't mean you wouldn't like to help or are mean, saying no is your right.

So don't fret about it, and the next time something like this comes up you will know exactly how to deal since you are practcing right now:))))


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PDM - oh I don't think this classmate of mine will EVER offer to pay gas or anything. She still receives free financial help (textbooks, tuitions) from her ex (and he has a g/f) without any guilt.

Carl - that's exactly my problem. Sometimes I just can't seem to say no to something I don't wanna do. I'll feel uneasy so I'll just do it reluctantly (i.e - be nice to someone who doesn't deserve). This would definitely take me a while to change & I'm trying.

Coco: well, she's copied my homework, that's kinda similar rite? smile Don't worry you guys been very helpful. This kind of incident opens my eyes much wider this time. Hopefully I'll be able to handle things like this better next time.

Last edited by winniee2009; 03/15/09 12:01 AM.
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In my opinion you've gotten spectacularly good advice here...

All I can add is that I sympathize with you. It's hard when people like your classmate put you in a position where all of a sudden you have to be very assertive, which is uncomfortable for a lot of people. smile

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I agree.

I, too, had to learn to say no ~ and to refuse to answer questions as to my reasons.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Yes, it feels a little weird to suddenly have to change 180 degrees with her like that. She used to talk to me in this sweet little baby talking way whenever she needs help (like, oh *** (my name), please help me, I don't get itttttttt) & I just felt sorry & helped her every single little thing. Now it's just annoying to me...I'm like I already have enough stress here can't you see, please just go away, stop keep asking me for favors already laugh

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