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B
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thats what i say... there is an awful lot of awsome stuff out there that you don't even know about, don't deny yourself the chance of seeing it


baby blue
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Girl 1 at first was very nice and sweet. that is who i fell for. she has changed... she is never in a good mood. we hardly talk any more. i helped her so much, got her to stop drugs, drinking, and cutting. everything was going so well. I really don't know what to do... Her dad started dating this new girl and things went down hill from there. she started to getting stressed and depressed and now her dad disowned her. she lives with her mom now and its hell there. i want to help her but she keeps shutting me out now. i try telling her that she should get on meds or get therapy but she gets mad at me. I don't want to leave her i just want the girl i met to come back... i think i am starting to like girl 2 because she is so much like the girl i fell for. All i really want is the girl i fell for... how do i get her out of her depression back to her cheerful self... i mess her.

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you are not a therapist so don't even try to help her !

YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON THEY ONLY CAN CHANGE THEMSELVES.

remember that for every person you meet.

you need to do what is best for you and only you. how about not being in a relationship? sounds like some co-dependent issues and you need help too because you are allowing yourself to be involved in this chaos. ask youself why? love is NOT FULL OF GAMES ,DEPRESSION AND VIOLENCE.
talk to your parents!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

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I know i am not a therapist in any way and that i should not try to act as one. I am the only person in her life that has not given up on her. I already am seeing two psychs and am on two anti-depression pills and i am quite stable with the way i am at the moment. She as you can tell is not. I involve myself in this chaos because i have helped her so much already and i am not going to be another person to just give up on her.

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True Blue Soulmate
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Hello J.

I am sorry that this is happening to you.
It sounds as if this girl has a lot of problems, and, as you know, people in their teens are changing all the time.

Do you think that things became too serious too soon?

You cannot change her.
You can be supportive, but you cannot take responsibility.

As you know, things can become very complicated at times.

Personally, I think that sex makes them even more complicated ~ whatever one's age.

Take care smile


Last edited by PDM; 06/08/09 09:11 AM.

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Well me and girl 2 had a long talk and decided to stay friends for the time being. If I were to break up with girl 1 and get with girl 2 and it didn't work out i would have lost my two best friends. If things don't work out between me and girl 1 girl 2 said she would be there for me. Thank you all for the help.

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That seems like a right decision.
After being a really unstable person myself, I have found some settlement with myself, not that my life is worked out, but at least I know better than to hate life or give up trying on things I like. I am a depressive person, however I have found my balance smile

That said, I wanted to give some advice. Being of strong personality, I was seeing a therapist, much against my will, and after some months of sessions he suggested me going on anti-depressives I completely refused, I wanted to get better on my own will. I have started coming up that road and I am much better. The therapy only helped me to find out that I know myself enough, and I am insightful enough to not need therapy. I always try to be objective about everything, and myself isn't an exception.
So if you are already on 2 pills, and have so much possible chaos ahead of you, I have some advice for you. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, not being selfish, I respect completely your decision to not quit on Girl1, however, she doesn't need blind trust only. She needs to be confident of herself, needs guidance and needs to set goals. It would be of much help if you talked CALMLY about your future, you should try and have a meaningful talk with her. Show that you trust her, show that you care. Don't force her into talking, but do insist on it as something you want. Get to share your common likings, think of how it will be when you are old, or if you'll die young how will that crazy lifestyle may lead to dying young :P (I think I might die young myself, you never know haha). Get her to enjoy the subtleties and details of daily life, get her to rejoice at the world and life around both of you. The chirping of the birds, the beautiful fall of rain, the feeling of wetness of the morning mist, etc. You get them to enjoy it too.
Are any of you involved in any art projects. You can start some activity of the sort, get to draw, paint. Or more easily for some people, get to write. Write down your feelings, your expressions. Invent stories of love or crime, make quaint descriptions of your lifes, Enjoy yourselves! Also, hear to music together, what kind of music do you like (the 2 of you girl1 and you)? The point of a relationship is to enjoy life together, to learn the beautiful art of SHARING.
Since being myself a depressive fellow, I have also done some things girl1 did, I never did any STRONG drugs though, however I know the sensitivity one develops through such acts. You both sounds sensible so that's why I suggested all of those things that to some people are just common day stuff.
My point being, if you want the girl you loved first, have her relax and enjoy life with you, slowly she will come back.
Good luck! I hope my advice makes any sense!



~*¡Pericos!*~
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That is great advice and i have had a very deep conversation with her. She kept blaming herself for all the bad things that have happened to her and i stayed with her and showed her how there could have been no possible way of preventing said things. After that very lengthy conversation she was feeling much better about herself and has been on a slow but steady climb back to happiness. I am very glad to see her happy again. I also have talked to her about talking to her mom to get into therapy because of her suicidal thinking and hopefully she does get the professional help she needs.

Jeremy =D

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That's a great thing to hear!
So it seems most issues, are coming around. You're staying friends with #2, and #1 seems to be getting better. It's a tough fight though. So do not surrender neither of you.
I forgot to mention, about the sex, you should take your time. First really decide if you are ready to go with it, and take your precautions!
If you think you're ready, then take it slow, never rush something like that.
My personal opinion is that you should wait more time. I agree completely with PDM, it just makes things more complicated, no matter the age!
So really give it a good thought the 2 of you. Perhaps you can try some alternate erotic stuff, before going into actual intercourse. However, do take all precautions!



~*¡Pericos!*~
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I have already lost my virginity and i already know about taking all the precautions. All of the advice given has really help me.

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