RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Which girl should i pick? both?

Okay this is confusing so I'll try to make it simple. girl1 and girl2 are best friends. I am dating girl1 and i really love her and i love girl2. they both have told me they love me. girl1 moved to the town over from mine and girl2. girl1 said she would kill herself if she lost me. girl1 is going to a different school than me and girl2. I am 15 girl1 is 15 girl2 is 14. both want to be sexually active with me.I don't want to break the heart of girl1 or get a huge load of guilt if she does kill herself. I can't stop thinking about girl2. i really need so advice on what i should do. Thanks a bunch, ßÄУµÇK1674

I'm really torn about what to do... please help

when i can't decide on something after a long time,,, it generally means that i'm not ready to decide yet. when it comes down to something that important... you will KNOW what the right thing is. there won't be a decision to make. sorry i can't help you except to say use your heart AND your head.
one question... do ladies #1 and #2 know they are BOTH with you?
if they don't, you may destroy their friendship. if their friendship is strong... you could be the one left out in the cold. it is hard to trust someone who is decieveing you right off the bat.

as a very young mother... i think that the age you are at... this is a sign that it is not the right time if you have to question your actions.i also believe you are too young to be getting that involved already. you don't want to start your life under a terrible pile of guilt.
if you go ahead and take the step anyway, make sure you have what you need for the safty of any involved.

If you are already involved with girl 1, then you would be cheating on her if you start seeing girl 2 at the same time...you can't have your cake and eat it too without reprocussions. Girl 1 sounds VERY insecure but girl 2 sounds like she is a loser as a friend(sorry, but if she was my friend, hitting on my boyfriend, I think I'd knock her out then I'd never speak to her again..she is NOT a friend and she has no loyalty) so, as far as their friendship, it must not be strong AT ALL or girl 2 would not betray her friend.

Anyway, I think if you want to pursue a relationship with girl 2, you HAVE to break-up with girl1. Would she be more upset if you broke up or cheated on her? (BTW...that threat of killing herself is just a manipulation tactic that so many people use..especially men, but they never really mean it) I think she'd lose her mind if she found out you cheated on her with her so called "best friend"..trader..betrayer. You also have to remeber, what goes around comes around, the wheel turns and if you choose to cheat on your girlfriend instead of being honest and breaking up with her, someday, you will be completely in love, only to find out you've been cheated on....it never fails Kharma is a "you know what"...there's a reason someone made up that saying.

Girl 2 is not a bad friend at all. She has not hit on me at all but she told me that she liked me alot. girl 1 has already cheated on me twice and girl 2 has always been there for me to talk to. I don't know why i have given girl 1 so many chances. what should i do?

i was cheated on. i would have been much less angry if he had just told me he wanted to end the marriage. i would have been hurt either way, but i would not have lost the trust i once had. i will never be able to get that back. as you already heard, if you have both at the same time, you are cheating on girl 2. think of how you feel about being cheated on and you know how girl 2 is going to feel. do you want to be the one to break her trust?

girl 2 knows i am with girl 1. girl 1 does not know i like girl 2. girl 1 cheated on me...twice.

well I think that if you are with girl 1 and she has cheated on you then she is not the right one and it is not good that she is making threats of killing herself if she lost you because that just means that she is unstable. I do not know if she is one to go through with this action or if she is just making the threat because then she knows that she can keep you that way.Then there is girl 2 I do not think that you should date her either there is no offense to her but you could date her and then things can go wrong with you and then you lost a friend and someone that you can confide in and then you are stuck with no one. I would put into consideration and think about what you are going to do but if you do date girl number 2 you need to break it off with #1. I just would really think about this one.

talk to your parents or someoone who is your caregiver!

anyone that says they are going to kill themselves is NOT stable to be in a relationship with and needs therapy themselves. do not get involved with someone saying that or threatening that . it is not right and they need help.
if girl 1 cheated on you several times, or as much as you know, then she is not again a stable person. she needs to find help. you do not need that burden.
resolve what you started. don't cheat. love does not involve games, mind games, threats, depression, etc...

please talk to your parents. i know that sounds really lame but whoever is helpfull in your life you need to talk to.

i think you are too young to have sex. it is too much responsibility! what would you do if she gets pregnant? std? etc.... broken record i am sure but trust me, you are NOT ready.
do you think that this chaos is what relationships are based on? absolutely not. wait to have sex. you have your whole life ahead of you don't do it.

just date and have fun, no need to get so serious ! enjoy life and friends, date a bit and don't get so committed. you are too young.

thats what i say... there is an awful lot of awsome stuff out there that you don't even know about, don't deny yourself the chance of seeing it

Girl 1 at first was very nice and sweet. that is who i fell for. she has changed... she is never in a good mood. we hardly talk any more. i helped her so much, got her to stop drugs, drinking, and cutting. everything was going so well. I really don't know what to do... Her dad started dating this new girl and things went down hill from there. she started to getting stressed and depressed and now her dad disowned her. she lives with her mom now and its hell there. i want to help her but she keeps shutting me out now. i try telling her that she should get on meds or get therapy but she gets mad at me. I don't want to leave her i just want the girl i met to come back... i think i am starting to like girl 2 because she is so much like the girl i fell for. All i really want is the girl i fell for... how do i get her out of her depression back to her cheerful self... i mess her.

you are not a therapist so don't even try to help her !

YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON THEY ONLY CAN CHANGE THEMSELVES.

remember that for every person you meet.

you need to do what is best for you and only you. how about not being in a relationship? sounds like some co-dependent issues and you need help too because you are allowing yourself to be involved in this chaos. ask youself why? love is NOT FULL OF GAMES ,DEPRESSION AND VIOLENCE.
talk to your parents!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

I know i am not a therapist in any way and that i should not try to act as one. I am the only person in her life that has not given up on her. I already am seeing two psychs and am on two anti-depression pills and i am quite stable with the way i am at the moment. She as you can tell is not. I involve myself in this chaos because i have helped her so much already and i am not going to be another person to just give up on her.

Hello J.

I am sorry that this is happening to you.
It sounds as if this girl has a lot of problems, and, as you know, people in their teens are changing all the time.

Do you think that things became too serious too soon?

You cannot change her.
You can be supportive, but you cannot take responsibility.

As you know, things can become very complicated at times.

Personally, I think that sex makes them even more complicated ~ whatever one's age.

Take care

Well me and girl 2 had a long talk and decided to stay friends for the time being. If I were to break up with girl 1 and get with girl 2 and it didn't work out i would have lost my two best friends. If things don't work out between me and girl 1 girl 2 said she would be there for me. Thank you all for the help.

That seems like a right decision.
After being a really unstable person myself, I have found some settlement with myself, not that my life is worked out, but at least I know better than to hate life or give up trying on things I like. I am a depressive person, however I have found my balance

That said, I wanted to give some advice. Being of strong personality, I was seeing a therapist, much against my will, and after some months of sessions he suggested me going on anti-depressives I completely refused, I wanted to get better on my own will. I have started coming up that road and I am much better. The therapy only helped me to find out that I know myself enough, and I am insightful enough to not need therapy. I always try to be objective about everything, and myself isn't an exception.
So if you are already on 2 pills, and have so much possible chaos ahead of you, I have some advice for you. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, not being selfish, I respect completely your decision to not quit on Girl1, however, she doesn't need blind trust only. She needs to be confident of herself, needs guidance and needs to set goals. It would be of much help if you talked CALMLY about your future, you should try and have a meaningful talk with her. Show that you trust her, show that you care. Don't force her into talking, but do insist on it as something you want. Get to share your common likings, think of how it will be when you are old, or if you'll die young how will that crazy lifestyle may lead to dying young :P (I think I might die young myself, you never know haha). Get her to enjoy the subtleties and details of daily life, get her to rejoice at the world and life around both of you. The chirping of the birds, the beautiful fall of rain, the feeling of wetness of the morning mist, etc. You get them to enjoy it too.
Are any of you involved in any art projects. You can start some activity of the sort, get to draw, paint. Or more easily for some people, get to write. Write down your feelings, your expressions. Invent stories of love or crime, make quaint descriptions of your lifes, Enjoy yourselves! Also, hear to music together, what kind of music do you like (the 2 of you girl1 and you)? The point of a relationship is to enjoy life together, to learn the beautiful art of SHARING.
Since being myself a depressive fellow, I have also done some things girl1 did, I never did any STRONG drugs though, however I know the sensitivity one develops through such acts. You both sounds sensible so that's why I suggested all of those things that to some people are just common day stuff.
My point being, if you want the girl you loved first, have her relax and enjoy life with you, slowly she will come back.
Good luck! I hope my advice makes any sense!

That is great advice and i have had a very deep conversation with her. She kept blaming herself for all the bad things that have happened to her and i stayed with her and showed her how there could have been no possible way of preventing said things. After that very lengthy conversation she was feeling much better about herself and has been on a slow but steady climb back to happiness. I am very glad to see her happy again. I also have talked to her about talking to her mom to get into therapy because of her suicidal thinking and hopefully she does get the professional help she needs.

Jeremy =D

That's a great thing to hear!
So it seems most issues, are coming around. You're staying friends with #2, and #1 seems to be getting better. It's a tough fight though. So do not surrender neither of you.
I forgot to mention, about the sex, you should take your time. First really decide if you are ready to go with it, and take your precautions!
If you think you're ready, then take it slow, never rush something like that.
My personal opinion is that you should wait more time. I agree completely with PDM, it just makes things more complicated, no matter the age!
So really give it a good thought the 2 of you. Perhaps you can try some alternate erotic stuff, before going into actual intercourse. However, do take all precautions!

I have already lost my virginity and i already know about taking all the precautions. All of the advice given has really help me.