RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? Despite all u do she doesnt seem to care

I sincerely luv her, asked her out & of course she said no(actually put "really" in front of d "no") & told me she doesnt want 2 talk abt it. Ever since then she has been so unpredictable, most times she behaves & talk 2 me normally, bt at times it's like she hates seeing my face, might even walk past without saying hello at times. Funny enough we talk normally on phone but I try as much as possible to stay away from d topic cos she's always evasive about it saying things like "wht are u talking abt?" as if d topic has never come up before. God the tension I feel whenever she's around, I cant even look into her eyes sometimes and if I do I dont see any change of expression it doesnt matter if I'm smilling I might as well be looking into my lecturer's eyes, or do u think something is wrong with my confidence? I tried to get close to her to be her friend cos we really dont talk much but u know she has this way of keeping u at a distance, one word answers and all that 've never really been able to go beyond asking how she's doing. It doesnt matter what I say she keeps her face formal when she's talking to me and I wonder how a female can be so impersonal or even if she has any feeling at all she's pretty good at masking it. The truth however is that I love this girl sincerely with the whole of my heart and would do anything within moral limits to convince her of this but then I dont know what else to do I really need advice on this, cant seem to be able to think of any other thing this days & dont really see myself falling in love with someone else.

Hello Sweetdoct247

It is very hard to deal with a situation, where one feels that one is in love with someone who isn't interested in having a romantic relationship.

However, it is also difficult to deal with a situation, where someone is in love with, or infatuated with, one, when one does not feel the same way in return.

This girl said 'no' when you asked her out, yet you keep expecting her to respond in a different way. She is formal and evasive because she does not feel as you do, and she wants to make this clear to you, because she does not feel that she has convinced you yet.

I don't think that you need to find a way to convince her that you are besotted with her; she probably knows this ~ hence the way she is behaving.

It's hard, I know, but you are going to have to accept that ~ for the present at least ~ this girl does not want a relationship with you. She is making this very clear.

This happens to lots & lots of people. You are not alone in this. You must remember, though, that for a relationship to work, both people have to care and be committed. You could not be happy with this girl, even if she agreed to date you, because she does not feel as you feel.

You won't fall in love with someone else tomorrow, because you need time to come to terms with this, but you will, eventually, find someone else and, hopefully, you will find someone who cares equally for you.

Good luck

I read something the other day that says that when we first fall in love our brain chemistry creates so much serotonin that it makes us almost obsessive compulsive about the person we love.

That is a fancy way of telling us that our brains won't let us accept the truth of the situation.

It is sad when our love is not returned, but it is even more difficult when our brain chemistry is still telling us that there can never be anyone else.

The truth is there will be. All of us who have had our hearts broken and had to go on and look back can tell you that no matter how many times it happens, it does get better.

You just have to force yourself to do and think about other things until your brain starts helping you by producing less of the serotonin. That will happen over time when you expose yourself less and less to her influence.

Things are not always as they seem but as we perceive them to be. You need to change your perpective even if your heart doesn't want it. You will be ok, you will find new love. Trust me. It will happen for you and you will be really happy because it will be mutual.

I must confess that I saw the exact picture of myself in the mirror of words you have given me. To be honest I cant thank you enough. It's like you are in my body experiencing everything along with me. You know almost everybody I've gone to for advice told me ladies are initially like that and with time they will come down but you have given me an advice borne out of maturity and I'm going to follow it to the last letter. I've truly found it difficult to accept the fact that this lady just doesnt feel the same way but even though it's hard I'm going to have to come to terms with that then pray and hope I'll meet someone I can love and who will love me in return. Thank you so much

Hello Sweetdoct247
I'm glad that we have been able to help.
Good luck!