RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating total mess

I have this friend and she is bisexual (like me) and we both like each other but i have a boyfriend and she has a girlfriend and we are just friends but thats not what everybody thinks they think that we are cheating on our other with each other

I don't know what to do. I love her and she loves me to but everything is just a big mess what should i do?!?

Hi lamf10 & welcome.

All you need to do is ignore the people who are making these wild assumptions and even wilder accusations.

You know that your relationship with this friend is innocent friendship.

I assume that she knows it, too, and that both partners know all about it.

Provided everything is truthful & in the open, between the four parties involved ~ the ones who count ~ and that you all know the truth, and trust each other, then it is nobody's business but yours.

There is no need for this to be a mess, if you simply ignore those people who are not involved.

I suppose, if they are parents, perhaps, then you might be understandably upset. Are they?
If so, just try to explain to them that you are not a cheat and that you would appreciate their support in this.

Good luck!

Hi lamf10! I'd agree with PDM. It's no one else's business. I know it can be hard when a circle of friends is judgmental. Unfortunately, life ends up like that again and again over time. It is a good life skill to learn to live with integrity on your own terms and to hold your own head high, in spite of what others might think/say.

OK yeah i keep telling them its not any of their business and that i'm doing nothing wrong. Yeah everything is out in the open and there are no secrets. I have been ignoring everything that they say because I know its not true. her girlfriend and my boyfriend know that we are just friends and that we will always be friends. Even if they aren't in it. Anyways THANX FOR THE ADVICE! thank you PDM and JILLY.

Now all you have to do is believe that it is none of their business.

If you truly believed that, then you wouldn't think that you were in a 'total mess'.
And if they truly knew that you believed it, then they would probably get bored with it & leave you, & the subject, alone.

You know that all is well, so hold your head up, believe it and stop taking the bait!

Don't react.
Change the subject ~ be ready, with something interesting to impart.

im not bi so i dnt know wat the pressure is like. u say u r dating only ur bf and ur friends shuld believe you. If they dnt they arent good friends. If you do happen to kindle more feelings for your friend...then tell ur bf so u dnt lead him on u kno????

ok ur not bi i really appreciate the response. yeah im only dating my bf and he is alrite now with what's going on i told him everything and he really didin't say much but he said ok as long as nothing is going down and i said no. we are trying to keep a friendship relationship first and not a girl friend- girl friend relationship. we know how we feel and are just leaving it at that.

Hi

You ask what you should do, but what do you want or need to do?

You have both split from your exes and you are now together.
You are not two-timing anyone and you are where you want to be, presumably??? So all's well ~ isn't it?

But do read over the above posts and really think about all of this and whether you really are now where you want to be.

Back then you said:


Now your boyfriend has ended your relationship; you are with the girl who was just a friend; her girlfriend has ended their relationship; your boyfriend wants you back; both exes are 'HATING ON' you.

Do you think that both exes are angry because they feel that they were treated badly?
Do they think that you both lied to them?
Did you both lie to them?
Or did the relationship change after the exes finished the relationships?
In that case, why did they end them?

Do you want to be with the girl, or with the boy?
Do you want to stay with the girl, but put things right with the boy?
Do you want it the way it was ~ having both?

Are you being completely honest about all this ~ with the girl, with the boy ~ and with yourself??

Good luck!