About 10 years ago I started an affair with a married woman. After three years, her husband found out and we were limited to only once a month contact.

Now we are down to twice a year contact (by mutual consent) but that is not enough for me. Plus, the contacts are becoming less and less affectionate (in the broadest sense of the word--we are not lovers anymore).

I still love her but her feelings are of friendship (with a tiny bit of love she says when her arm is twisted). Should I pursue this after seven years of not seeing her or should I give it up.
I don't want to give it up.

GeorgiePie

What make you think she will leave if she hasn't in 10 years?
I's say do yourself a big favor and walk away it may hurt now but in the long run I think you will be much happier. There are plenty of single women who probably would love to meet you.

I'm sorry if I step on toes but to be very honest with you I think people weither it be male or female that are having affairs with married people are just letting themselves in for a lot of heartache and like the saying goes if they are willing to do it with you you better believe they are willing to do it to you. If fact when you think about it they already are because they are having an affair on you with their spouse. So think about that one.

Hi Pretty Bird,
Thanks for your reply. I was probably confusing in what I said (it isn't easy to deal with emotions).

I actually don't want her to split up with her husband, I think she is much better off with him and their two girls.

Guess I am looking for advice on how to live with this.
George

Hi GeorgiePie

The thing is, you aren't living with it, are you?
You see this woman a couple of times a year ~ just as a friend.

Try looking at this situation as if it were your best friend telling you about it.

Good luck & welcome.

I guess what I would suggest is to start letting yourself look at other relationships this would be the best way to get over it and move on.

Sometimes its hard meeting others so try joining a group or two in something that interests you.

Even look at night school classes that are fun.
If your single do you like to cook? Take a cooking class, art, music, dancing. I tell you if you want to meet some really nice people and have lots of fun take a dance class they are always looking for more men believe me my husband and I use to help our teacher teach classes and I always had to do the mans part because we did not have enough men.

You need to start thinking of other things and move on and totally end the relationship otherwise you won't do it.

Good luck